101 Things to Do in an Elevator
by Mister Sorrel
Summary: Bored Companions, the Tenth Doctor, and a list no one should EVER try. Crack!fic Jack/Martha, Doctor/Rose. Now with added Tosh/Owen!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: C'mon, you don't really think I own Doctor Who, do you? I'm not even out of school yet!**

**A/N: This... is complete crack. Crack at it's finest. But entertaining crack, I hope. And my one fic, the '100 Prompts', I think I should delete that one, cause I kinda, uh... lostthelist. And I can't relocate it, so dang. And I will continue 'Incandescent', I'm just doing some... plot changes :)**

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Whenever the Doctor was bored, he tinkered with the TARDIS. It was much more satisfying messing with wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff then it was wasting his life away watching TV like his companions. (Curse the day they found out about all 5,000,000 channels) So on days like today, when he just woke up feeling bored, he could be often found with his feet sticking out from underneath the TARDIS counsel. And he was quite content doing so, too.

"Doctor?"

The Doctor winced as he hit his head on the top of the counsel.

"Yes, Rose?"

"I'm bored."

"Is you're TV broken?"

"No…An' you're not 'fixing' it!"

"Go talk to Jack."

"He's… busy."

The Doctor decided he didn't want to know what she meant by 'busy'.

"Go talk to Martha."

"Er, she's with Jack."

"Oh. Alright than." He went back to fixing the TARDIS.

"Loads of help you are."

The Doctor sighed and got out from underneath the counsel, wiping his hands on his pants. He dully noted how Rose had to bite her lip in order to keep from laughing.

"Rose," He sighed, "I can't help with your lack of entertainment issues."

She gave him an odd look. "Didn't I agree to come with you so we could _explore_, or save worlds or somethin'?"

"Well, yes," He admitted, and then added hastily, "But I'm busy right now! And so are Martha and Jack."

Rose groaned and leaned back against the wall.

The Doctor sighed again and decided this might be the time to try it. The counsel didn't need that much fixing, anyway.

"Alright, Rose Tyler, I have something we can do. Go get Martha and Jack."

She winced.

"We're here," Jack said from the entrance to the hallway, his arm around Martha's shoulder. Both look unnaturally flushed.

The Doctor grinned, "Fantastic."

He faced the counsel and began to push buttons and pull levers. It all looked so random to Martha, and she had to grin.

Jack sent a questioning look to Rose, who just shrugged in response.

The ground below them began to shake, and being the experienced TARDIS travelers that they were, they took this as a sign that they were about to land and grabbed the nearest column.

When it all stopped, Rose was the first to break the silence.

"So… where are we?"

The Doctor sent her a 100-watt grin.

"Go out and see!"

With a hesitant smile, Rose walked over to the door and pushed it open.

"Doctor," She began, sounding less than impressed, "Why are we in a parking garage?"

"Well, people would stare if a blue box suddenly appeared on their desk! Come on, Jack, Martha!" He sauntered over to the door, pushed Rose out ("Watch it!), and looked around.

"Ah, this is brilliant!"

Martha, who never thought she'd ever hear someone so ecstatic to be in a parking garage, followed him out loyally, and Jack followed Martha out lovingly.

"Now what?" Jack asked once they were all out in the garage.

The Doctor turned to Martha and Rose, "You ever gotten any of those annoying forward e-mails?"

They nodded.

"Ever gotten that one about the '101 Things to do in an Elevator'?"

"Yeah… oh no, Doctor, you aren't--"

"Yep!" He answered Rose gleefully, "I've _always _wanted to try those things! And you said you were bored, so this is the perfect time to try it!"

Jack, Martha and Rose all exchanged looks before Martha decided to be the voice of reason,

"Doctor, we can't actually _do _those things."

"Why not? Is there some law somewhere that states you can't?"

"Well, I'm up for it!" Jack grinned, and earned a grin from the Doctor as well.

"Why can't you two be more like Jack?" He asked his remaining two companions. Martha coughed and Rose raised an eyebrow. "Well, not in the whole flirt-with-everything-that-walks-and-some-that-don't sense of way." The Doctor shuddered just thinking about it.

After a couple minutes of silence, Rose nodded slowly,

"Alright."

The Doctor smiled and ruffled her hair fondly, "Knew you'd come around!" He turned to Martha and gave her a pleading look. And after a sharp nudge from the Doctor, Jack did too.

"Fine. Just nothing _too _bad, alright?" She gave Jack a pointed look. He grinned sheepishly.

The Doctor looked delighted.

"Alright, draw straws to see who's next." He pulled four straws out from his suit pocket ('_So that's why he carries straws around!_' Rose noted mentally) His eyes closed and his fingers shuffled the straws around. After a moment, he opened one eye to peer at his companions.

"No peeking!" He ordered. They all looked away and he grinned, satisfied, and went back to the straws. "Alright, Martha first!" The overjoyed Time Lord said once he was done.

Martha reached for the straws and pulled one out. Rose was next, and then Jack, and then himself.

"Hold 'em up!" The Doctor said as he held his own straw up. Rose and Martha's matched, his was a little shorter, but Jack's was the shortest.

"Jack," The Doctor said in an overly dramatic voice, "You are first! Step forward to receive you're task." He turned to Rose and winked, "Have 'em memorized."

Rose rolled her eyes.

The Doctor leaned in and whispered something in Jack's ear and Jack's eyes grew wide, but then he smiled,

"That's all? I'm a little disappointed."

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**Like I said, crack. Like it? Hate it? Tell me in a review!**


	2. First On the List

**Diclaimer: Still don't own it!**

**A/N: Yep, I really am going to post each number on the list as a new chapter. And I really do have a forwarded e-mail list I'm looking off of, so props to its creator. It's hilarious ;D**

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Harvey Olsen was not a patient man. Harvey Olsen also believed that everything should be civilized and sensible. Humans have long since evolved since being primates, and in no way should they show any sign of once acting like one, or so Harvey believed. He was a very successful lawyer, almost at the million-dollar mark, and he definitely did not get there by acting uncivilized and insensible. If only the rest of the world would learn.

Harvey walked down the corridor to the elevator, dressed crisply in a suit with a leather briefcase in his hand, and pushed the down button. Looking down at his gold watch, he noted he had exactly fourteen minutes to get home before the it was five o' clock.

The button 'dinged' as the elevator stopped in place and opened its doors. Harvey looked down as he walked in, remembering last time when the un-even floor had scoffed his shoe.

"Which floor?" A man asked once he was in.

"One." Harvey answered while inspecting his shoes. With a sigh of relief at his un-scoffed shoes, Harvey looked up to thank the man. (Eye contact meant sincerity and honesty) But he couldn't even close his jaw.

The man was completely undressed; save for the numerous name tag stickers plastered over his chest (all reading, 'HELLO MY NAM E IS Captain Jack'), and he stood with his hands on his hips, all smiles.

"Hello, and you are?" He grinned. 'Captain Jack' shuffled his feet, making Harvey realize the man was wearing red pumps. Harvey's eyebrows rose to his hairline.

"Clothes are against my religion," Captain Jack said in explanation, "And I need to wear red high-heels from March 15th to September 9th."

"Er, it's November," Harvey stumbled and added hesitantly, "Captain."

The man grinned, "I like you, what did you say your name was?"

"Uh…" Harvey began, but the 'ding' the elevator made cut him off and he hurried out the door, convincing himself that that had not happened. He was from the human rights organization, Harvey decided, and he was using a shock-tact. How insensible.

Jack, however, grinned and walked out the door, winking at the gaping onlookers.

Once he was out to the parking garage, he laughed and stepped into the big blue box. The Doctor, Rose, and Martha were all rolling around on the floor laughing. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"We hacked into the security camera," The Doctor gasped.

"And saw the whole thing," Rose added.

But Martha, though, stood up indignantly.

"Oi, Captain! You're wrecking my shoes!" She nodded to the heel that was in fact bent over so Jack could fit his feet.

He grinned, guiltily.

"Alright, draw straws to see who's next," The Doctor announced, holding the straws out again. This time, Rose picked the shortest straw. He motioned for her to come closer with his hand, and she did so timidly.

As he whispered in her ear, a grin played across her face slowly.

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**Review? Please? You'll get a cookie! And could someone tell me how to reply to reviews...?**


	3. Second On the List

**Disclaimer: Huh-uh, not mine still.**

**A/N: I'm posting three chapters today, and I'll work on posting two chapters per day :)**

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Steve Carlo sighed as the elevator stopped once again, letting an elderly woman out. This elevator had stopped five times since he got onto it from the top floor, and Steve was meeting Fred at the pub in six minutes. And he still had to get a date to the party, but that wasn't usually a problem for him. He considered himself _very _handsome, and a majority of the girls in New York agreed, just adding to his already huge ego.

The elevator was almost on the ground floor, until it stopped again. Steve cursed it under his breath.

He was expecting some old man to come walking in at .05 miles per hour, but instead he got the complete opposite. A petite blonde bounced into the lift, and Steve smiled at his own luck. And here came his date now.

"Which floor?" Steve asked smiling, turning on the charm.

"Ground," She answered simply, but returned his flirty grin. He pressed the button and turned back to her.

"So… my friend is having a-"

"Shut up!"

"Excuse me?" No one ever told Steve Carlo to shut up!

The blonde smiled apologetically at him, "No, sorry, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to _them_."

Steve looked around, but he couldn't see anyone else besides her and himself,

"I don't- Are you okay?"

She was now banging her head on her palm repeatedly.

"Dammit, just shut up!"

"Who're you _talking to_?" Steve demanded, frowning at her apparent madness.

"I'm talking to _them_! And they won't _shut up_!"

"There's no one in this lift besides us! What are talking about, 'them'?"

She gave him a sympathetic look, but winced again and started to bang her head on the wall.

"All of you just _shut the hell up_!"

After one particularly hard bang, she stopped, blinked for a minute, and smiled back at him.

"So, what were you saying about—hold on," Another bang, another smile, "About your friend?"

"I, uh," Steve stumbled- probably for the first time in his life- for a way to say both 'no', and 'do you need a drive to the local asylum?' without sounding tremendously rude, but he was saved by the elevator reaching its destination. Steve dipped his head in a polite nod, and got out of the lift as fast as he could. The girl shrugged and bounced out after him.

Once back at the TARDIS, Rose was greeted by a similar sight Jack was.

"Didja see his face?" Martha gasped, holding her sides, "Priceless!"

"You have that recorded, right Doc?" Jack asked, and the Doctor responded with a gleeful nod.

"Yeah… got any Advil?" Rose asked, rubbing her forehead.

"Third cabinet to the right, second kitchen," The Doctor informed her, still grinning. She nodded and strolled out of the console room.

"Right, Martha, come here," The Doctor took the shortest and the longest straws out, and after making sure Martha wasn't peeking and closing his eyes himself, he shuffled them around and held one out the Martha. She had the longest. The Doctor looked down at his own short straw amusedly,

"Number three is my favorite one," He grinned madly up at his remaining two companions.

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**Please review?**


	4. Third On the List

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Disclaimer: I still don't own.

**A/N: Wow. I am floored by all the response to this fic I got! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favortied this, and put this story on alert! You guys made my day today :) I really like this chapter... it was really fun to write. **

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Smart clothes make smart people. Well, that's what Marie H. Carlen believed, and god help anyone who challenged her. For Marie H. Carlen was _not _to be challenged. Not _ever_. Marie was always right, and was never wrong. Even when she was wrong, she was right. If, god forbid, her facts were incorrect, she just edited the real facts. There, she was right. Nothing to it.

Today, she was particularly stressed from being so right. Marie had had a meeting with the CEO of her company, and she was almost 100 sure her boss was impressed. All her facts had been correct, after all. So stressful Marie was not at all pleased when she had to ride in a crowded elevator to get down to her car. She sighed and walked in, telling a woman next to the buttons which floor she wanted.

Marie took out her phone and checked the time. She had to pick up her son, and she was at the top level. Hopefully all these people were headed for the ground floor as well.

She was only faintly aware of the man leering at her from her right, until he drew in sharp breath of air. The stressed woman turned to him to tell him off, noting his brown suit and clashing red converses. But before she could get a word out, the man started shouting.

"YOUR NOSTRILS!" He shrieked, pointing frantically at her nose. Marie opened her mouth to say something, but he started yelling again, "THEY ARE LIKE WIND TUNNELS, SUCKING UP ALL MY AIR!"

He held his hands up to his throat as he made gagging noises. Marie frowned, forgetting her earlier rage, and tried her best to soothe the man.

"You okay? Need any help?" A man asked. Marie looked up to see all the people in the elevator were either looking concerned or amused. Most of them were the latter.

"Good god, what did you do to the poor man?" An older woman asked, frowning disapprovingly at Marie. Marie seethed.

"I didn't do a damn thing to him!" She shot back.

The gagging man in the brown suit suddenly stopped gagging, but he fell to the floor. Gasps of the passengers filled the air.

"Is he dead?" The man who offered to help asked again.

"I-I don't know. He just… started choking and then fell."

The 'ding' the elevator made told everyone they were at the ground floor, but no one really cared. Most of the attention was focused on the man twitching on the floor.

The man, however, sat right up at the 'ding' and walked right out as if nothing had happened. The passengers all looked shocked.

After a moment of silence, Marie cleared her throat.

"Alright. That _didn't _happen." And with that, Marie walked out of the lift, as calm as if nothing out of the ordinary actually did happen. No one said a word, but filed out quickly.

The Doctor rolled on the balls of his feet merrily, "That was fun," He announced to his hysterical companions.

"Won't- won't we get kicked out or somethin'?" Rose managed to get out between laughs.

The Doctor shook his head.

"Nope," He popped the 'p', "We hacked into the security cameras, remember? They won't know anything. And besides, most of the people in the lift won't talk about what happened anyway," He grinned.

"But won't they notice the blue box in the parking garage?"

"Nuh-huh. They have a bigger one on the south side. This one's been closed for years. Now Martha, get over here," The Doctor motioned for Martha with his index finger. Martha bounded over and grinned,

"Alright, do your worst."

"Nah… the worst is Jack's. Yours is…"

Martha grinned excitedly.

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**-hands out cookies to all reviewers- If you review... you get one!**


	5. Fourth On the List

**Disclaimer: I don't even own any of the merchandise!**

**A/N: This wasn't the funniest thing on the list... but I tried to make it a little bit more funny...**

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Candy Moraine had _the _best clothes. She wasn't the prettiest. No, the prettiest was Candy Yetis (Not that Candy Moraine would ever admit it), but Candy Moraine had better clothes than her, and that's all that mattered, right? Well, Candy Moraine always had _all _eyes on her. Everyone watched her walk, breathe, eat, dance, and anything else you could do in public. And they always watched her with envy.

Today Candy had had one of the best days in her life. They got a new employee at the firm, Lindsey Bush. Lindsey had clothes very much like Candy's, fabulous and expensive. But alas, Candy had better clothes, according to the poll e-mailed to all of the workers by 'Anonymous'. Candy was still the best dressed at the firm.

She walked down the corridor confidently, smiling at how the sound her red stilettos made on the tile made people look at her instantly. She held her chin up a little higher.

When Candy got to the elevator, there was already a girl there waiting for it to reach their floor. The girl was pretty, Candy had to admit, but her clothes were nowhere near as good as Candy's. Although, her shoes were only just a little tiny bit shy of fabulous…

The elevator door opened. Candy strutted in.

"Floor one, please," Candy said to the man by the buttons. (His clothes weren't as good as Charlie's, Candy's husband)

When the man pushed a button, the girl with almost-fabulous shoes did the most peculiar thing. She opened her mouth wide, and while staring straight ahead at nothing in particular,

"Vvvveeeeeeeoooooo!" She made a sound like a racecar on a track. Candy frowned; 1) she wasn't looking at Candy, and 2) normal people did not make racecar sounds like so.

"Excuse me!" Candy said rudely, knowing the girl would have to look at her and her clothes.

"You're excused," The girl said dreamily, still staring into space. "Vvvveeeeeeeeeeeoooooooo!"

Candy rolled her eyes. So, it was one of these girls. The man stared at the odd girl strangely.

"Could you stop?" Candy demanded.

"Sure," She still didn't look at Candy, "PITSTOP!" She shouted. She made sounds like a screwdriver taking tires off a car.

"Why are you so _weird_?" The fashion-obsessed worker asked harshly. The girl ignored her.

"Vvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooo!"

"I told you to _stop_!"

"Okay."

It was silent for a couple of moments.

"VVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Shut up!"

"Alright."

"…."

"VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOO--"

And suddenly, just like that, she stopped. The elevator doors opened and she walked out calmly.

Candy turned to the man, "What the _hell _was _that_?"

The man shrugged and walked out too, leaving Candy there speechless. The girl didn't even look at her outfit.

The TARDIS was filled with "Vvvveeeeeeeoooooo!" impersonations when Martha got back.

"That was brilliant," Rose giggled.

The Doctor nodded cheerfully in agreement, looking like a giddy schoolboy.

"So, do we just repeat now? Like I go, and the Rose, ect.?" Jack asked.

"Yep!" The Doctor popped the 'p', "Come 'ere, Jack."

Jack chuckled excitedly after the Time Lord whispered number five in his ear.

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**How was it? **


	6. Fifth On the List

**Disclaimer: Don't. Own.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! You guys offically rock. I feel like the characters on here are getting too repetitive, so if your willing to lend me one of your OC's, that would be beyond awesome. **

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He was shy, he was small, he was mousy, and his name was Carlisle Gregory Fickle. Which, honestly, gave him every right to be shy, small, and mousy. Because out-going, big and muscular people just weren't named Carlisle Gregory Fickle. It just wasn't done.

Despite Carlisle's shyness, he was a CEO. And when he was being a CEO, no one cared about his name or his mousy-ness. (Mainly, they cared about getting paid. And that was it.) But being a CEO made him busy. Very busy. He had three mobiles, two PDA's, and four pagers. Which he kept all conveniently in his bag, or not so conveniently, as would be displayed today.

Carlisle pushed the button for the 1st floor in the elevator and sighed. Today had been a long day, and he was just happy to be going home. And then one of his cell phones went off.

He searched his bag frantically for the ringing phone as a man came and stood next to him. Carlisle offered him a frustrated look before turning back to his search.

"Hi," The man said cheerily.

"Hello," Carlisle mumbled.

"And who are you?"

"Carlisle."

Carlisle smiled triumphantly as he pulled the phone out of his bag.

"Nice phone," The man commented. Carlisle ignored him and fidgeted with the buttons, but was too late. The call went to the answering machine. He sighed and waited for the message to stop.

Carlisle jumped as suddenly a loud noise erupted from the man beside him. He turned slowly to see the man blowing his nose, quite passionately, too. The CEO sent him an aggravated look.

"Sorry," The loud man apologized through his tissue. Carlisle nodded and began to listen to the message, pulling it close to his ear so he could hear,

"Carlisle, this is important, about the meeting tomorrow--"

"HOLY CRAP!" The man shouted suddenly, "What the hell _is _that?"

Carlisle looked up at the man curiously to see him staring into his used tissue. He made a disgusted face and went back to the message.

"No, seriously, look at this!" The man thrust the Kleenex at him, but Carlisle heroically dodged having to look at it. "Is that a HEAD?"

Carlisle sighed in frustration. Why couldn't this man just shut up? Of course, he would never ask him why; CEOs didn't just ask people why they were so worked up about used tissues.

"The meeting got moved to--"

"Do you think there could be something growing in my head? Like, an alien or something?"

Carlisle grinded his teeth.

"Ewww, it's BLUE! Is that normal?" The man asked sounding panicked.

"And we really--"

"OMIGOD, am I gonna die? Please tell me I'm not gonna die! I'M TO YOUNG! I HAVEN'T EVEN DISCOVERED THE CURE TO THE COMMON COLD YET!"

"Listen, couldn't care less about you or your snot, if you'll excuse the word, problems! _Nothing _is growing in your head, alien or not. Aliens do not exist. And I don't know if blue snot, excuse the word, is normal or not! I'm not a doctor, there's no way I would possibly know! So, just SHUT UP already!" Carlisle exploded. Usually, he would've been able to put up with it a lot longer, but today was not the day. One of the most stressful days in his life, and there just _had _to be a man obsessed with blue mucus with possible heads.

The man looked at him blankly,

"If you didn't think anything was wrong, you should've just said something."

And with that, the man walked out of the lift, leaving Carlisle to bang his head repeatedly against the wall. Did he leave that dent? No, that dent was already there when he got on, right…?

"Aliens don't exist," The Doctor snorted when Jack got back, "We should land the TARDIS in his bedroom tonight. See what he thinks about that!"

"Ooh!" Martha said between giggles, "I wanna come!"

"Rose, quick! C'mere!" The Doctor said frantically.

Rose made her way slowly towards him.

"Come on! Could you go any slower?"

"Wanna see?" She grinned, her tongue poking out between her teeth. He sighed melodramatically as she did indeed move slower. The Doctor gave up and walked over to her.

"Doctor," Rose said slowly after he told her her next task, "I can't whistle."

"Really?" The Time Lord asked, surprised.

"Yep. Never could."

"Alright, you have the next one, then." The Doctor whispered the next one in her ear, causing her to grin madly, "C'mon, to the wardrobe!" He took her hand and skipped off towards the wardrobe.

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**-Hands out more cookies- Reviews are love.**


	7. Sixth On the List

**Disclaimer: Me? Own Doctor Who? No, course not!**

**A/N: Definately not my favorite chapter. Not as funny, in my opinion, but here's no. 6...**

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"Shhh!" Cedric Dawson whispered to the giggling girl latched on his arm, "We're gonna get caught, and it's gonna be all your fault, Evie!"

Evie giggled some more as he led her down to the elevator. Neither Cedric nor Evie have ever done and office affair before, but they were doing a pretty good job of being discreet about it. Well, they were until someone spiked Evie's drink at lunch. It was not easy having a secret office affair with someone that tipsy.

"We're not dis…disobe…doing anything wrong!" She slurred. Cedric sighed as the elevator dinged, signaling its arrival on their floor. He hoped to god no one was on the lift.

"Hello!" Someone said merrily from the lift as Cedric stopped dead in his tracks, more than a little surprised. There was only one person in the elevator (besides them), a girl, about 20 years old with bleached blonde hair. And she was selling Girl Scout Cookies. She sat on a fold-up beach chair behind a gray fold-up table, which was piled up with colorful boxes of cookies. On her head sat a brown beret, and Cedric could just barely see the brown Brownie vest she was wearing behind the boxes.

"Hello!" Evie said back, just as merrily, "Cedric, aren't you gonna push the button?" She asked, only getting confused now when he didn't push the floor button, forget the 20-year old Brownie selling cookies.

"You can," Cedric said, still surprised.

"Would like to buy any cookies? We have Tag-Alongs, Thin-Mints, All-Abouts," She looked him over, "We also have 100-Calaorie cookies, too!"

"Erm," He began, frowning, "You're in a lift."

"Yep!"

"Selling cookies."

"Looks like! Wanna buy some?"

"But… you can't sell cookies in an elevator!"

"Yes you can."

"Are we gonna get any cookies?" Evie asked once she was next to him again, "I always liked Dosey-Doughs…."

"Ooh, I love those!" The girl selling cookies squealed, sounding much like a nine-year-old, "You should buy some!"

"Does anyone else find it strange that there's a 20-year-old Girl Scout selling cookies in an _elevator_?"

"Don't be so obnox… obnoxciou…. rude, Cedric!" Evie slurred once more, hitting him on the arm, "She's being _creative_! She'll probably win the big stuffed dog, 'cause no other girl-scouts thought of selling in a lift."

"Ooh, the big stuffed dog is my goal! And I only need to sell fifteen more boxes of cookies! Which, you could buy… and make my dreams come true… I've never had a stuffed dog before…." The Girl Scout said enthusiastically.

Cedric frowned, "Uhh, first of all--"

He didn't get to finish though; the elevator doors opened and the girl gave a sob,

"Thanks for nothing! Now I'm never gonna get a stuffed dog!"

She stormed out of the lift, carrying a couple of boxes with her, but leaving everything else in the elevator.

"_Cedric_! I can't believe you just did that! The poor girl…."

Cedric sighed and buried his head in his hands, mumbling something about Advil.

"Which ones did you keep?" Martha practically jumped on Rose when she got back to the TARDIS, fighting off giggles at Rose's appearance. After looking through the boxes, Martha nodded, satisfied.

"Doctor," Jack began, still chuckling a little, "Why did you have a Girl Scout uniform in the TARDIS?"

"Er… I think I should go do my dare now… Toodleoo!" The Doctor dashed out of the TARDIS.

After taking off the vest and beret, Rose ran to the screen, practically jumping with excitement.

"What's the dare?" Martha asked, joining her.

"You'll see," Rose grinned.

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**So... how was it?**


	8. Seventh On the List

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Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine.

**A/N: Thank you reviewers! And a particular thank-you to Whovian64; I'll be using your two ideas :). Today, I think I'm just gonna post one chapter, and post three tomorrow. I'm feeling kinda dizzy, and I know I shouldn't be on the computer... besides, tomorrow is my last day of school, and it's just a half-day :D**

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"Snack time?" Adam Davies asked his mom hopefully as she pulled him along the hallway. His chubby fingers gripped his mom's long and skinny ones tightly as a woman with a particularly mean gaze looked their way. Adam felt bad for her kids.

"No, Adam," His mom sighed, frustrated. She was obviously tired of him asking, but the little four-year-old didn't mind.

"Why isn't it Snack Time?" Adam wondered. He was hungry, so why wasn't it time to eat? Work was confusing. Adam didn't ever want to get a job when he grew up, (unless it involved being a doctor or astronaut) instead he'll stay at home and play with his train. Adam liked his train.

"It's not 'Snack Time', Adam. We're still doing 'Take Your Child to Work Day'," Adam's mother said firmly.

"Can we visit the Bird Lady? She was nice," The four-year-old asked, thinking fondly of the big bowl of chocolate on her desk.

"She left home early."

Adam sighed stubbornly, but perked up a noticeable amount when he saw the big, red button.

"Can I push it?"

She sighed, "Go ahead."

He stood on the tip of his toes and reached up high to push the tempting button with his pudgy fingers. After it lit up, he made a triumphant squeak.

Adam tapped his foot impatiently like he'd seen his mom do.

"Adam," She hissed, "Stop that."

The lift made a 'ding' sound as the doors ("Mommy, are those magic?") to the elevator opened up. Adam squealed as he saw what awaited him, and he ran in.

Standing in the lift was a man dressed like a German schoolboy, green suspenders and all. On his cheeks, rosy pink circles were painted. He stared straight ahead, aimlessly. Adam thought he looked just like the people at Disney World.

"ADAM!" Adam's mother called frantically, "Stay away from him!" She grabbed his hand and yanked him back. Adam frowned and tried to fight out of her grip.

The man didn't even twitch.

"Mommy!" Adam whined, "Let me go see him!"

"No, Adam," She said firmly.

Adam groaned.

The man grinned suddenly and bent his knees so he was in a crouching position. Adam stared in interest.

Then the man started whistling the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World'. His knees straightened so he was standing up again, and then went back down in time to the music.

Adam grinned as the man repeated himself again and again. Pretty soon Adam was laughing and clapping.

Adam's mom, however, looked horrified. What drug was this man on? Was he drunk? She pulled her son closer to him so he couldn't get away.

"Don't go any closer," She whispered through her teeth.

"But Mommy, he's just like everyone at Disney!" Adam protested, still entranced with the toy-like man.

"No he's not," His mom said again. Adam groaned.

The man continued his strange (Well, strange in Adam's mom's opinion) antics until the lift stopped, to Adam's delight. When the doors opened, he waddled out, still whistling. Adam laughed.

Maybe he could work at on office when he grew up.

"I thought I'd never see the day," Martha laughed when the Doctor walked through the door.

"Kinda puts a whole new meaning on 'Boy Toy', don't it, Rosie?" Jack asked, winking at the Rose. The Doctor grinned,fh

"Captain of the Innuendo Squad, right Jack?"

"Yes, Sir!" Jack mock-saluted. Martha giggled some more.

"Oi, what're you laughing at, Jones? You're next, remember?" The Time Lord said in a jokingly mad tone of voice.

Martha sauntered over to him "I'm sorry, Sir. I must remember to behave myself next time."

The Doctor grinned wider, "You'd better. Let's see… number…. seven?"

He whispered the task in her ear.

**Review?**


	9. Eighth On the List

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**A/N: Thank you again, everyone who reviewed! I know I said I'd post three chapters today, but...you'll see. Today was my last day of school! YAY!**

* * *

Peggy Smalls had always wanted to work at an office. It had come from watching her mom get dressed up everyday for work, and listening to her fascinating stories of the office. Yes, Peggy really did want to work at an office. So that's why she was there this particular day; it was career day at her high school.

Peggy's mentor had been the amazing Marie Carlen. Peggy had adored the professional air Marie had, and she loved how Marie was always right. That's how Peggy was going to be from now on.

She walked down the corridor to the elevator, shoulders squared and chin held high. That was how professionals walked. The student pushed the button, and waited very patiently for the elevator to come. While she was waiting, a girl walked over and waited too. This girl, black hair and a red leather jacket, did not seem so professional, and Peggy wondered why she was here. Red leather jackets weren't work clothes.

"'Ello," She smiled kindly.

"Hello," Peggy said stiffly. Professionally.

The elevator arrived ('Ding!') and Peggy walked in professionally, and pushed the button for the ground floor. The un-professional girl nodded when she saw this.

"OMG, I like, J'adore your skirt!" She gasped.

Peggy frowned, 'Omg'? 'J'adore'? What was this girl doing at the office?

"Where did you like, get it?" She asked enthusiastically. Peggy looked down at her black, practical skirt.

"That's not an appropriate subject for the office," Peggy sniffed.

"Oh, right. Well, it still looks fantabulous."

Great, a British Valley Girl.

"Thank-you, I think."

"Oh, you should totally think it's compliment," And then the strange girl gasped and fell against the wall, "OMIGOD, did you just feel that? The ground just like, shook!"

Peggy frowned; she didn't feel anything.

The girl was propelled forward by what appeared as an invisible force, right into Peggy. They stumbled backwards into the wall.

"OMIGOD, it's a freakin' earthquake!" She shook again and fell back into the wall behind them, twitching.

"What are you talking about?" Peggy demanded. There wasn't an earthquake; she couldn't feel anything!

"Duh, I'm talking about the-" The girl stumbled into another wall, "The freakin' EARTHQUAKE!" She gripped onto the railing tightly, and stared at Peggy curiously,

"Dude, it's an earthquake! Don't just like, stand there!"

"There's no earthquake!" Peggy argued, "It's the elevator. It moves up and down. Ever been on one?"

"Elevator? What the hell is an elevator?" The girl asked as she was thrown towards Peggy again. This time, Peggy was slammed into the wall, hitting her head slightly. Which she probably would have done by choice if she hadn't been thrown back.

"We're riding in an elevator!" She said, exasperated.

"No… there's like, an earthquake. I dunno where you're getting this 'elevator' thing…"

Peggy sighed, "Get off of me!" She pushed the girl off of her, "An elevator is what we're riding in. I think you Brits call it a lift."

"A lift? Is that like an—AFTERSHOCK!" The girl yelled out suddenly as the elevator stopped.

"No, the elevator is stopping!"

"WHAT IS AN ELEVATOR? WHOA!" The doors opened. "How do they do that?"

Peggy shot the girl a disbelieving look before rushing out of the lift.

Martha got back to the TARDIS and was greeted with a mix of amused and shocked expressions.

"You're too good at that voice," Rose said between laughs.

"Comes from working at a hospital," Martha responded simply.

The Doctor sighed, "Jack, your turn!"

Jack thought for a second, "Hey, what if we got my team here with us?"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "What if?"

"Well, I told them I wouldn't be gone for long… And extra people, that'd be fun, right? The more the merrier?"

* * *

**I'm in a Torchwood-y mode right now, and I was thinking... what if I added Torchwood? I want to add Torchwood, but than again I don't. I think it might ruin the fic, but it could also make it better, hmm... what do you think?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Yes. I own both Torchwood AND Doctor Who. I bought them last week. Uh-huh. (Please don't tell me you're that gullible?)**

**A/N: -creeps out- Er... hi? I'm so sorry for the wait! My mom surprised me with a trip to see my friends in Colorado about a week ago, which was fun, but I felt bad for not putting up a warning. Anywho, anyone ever been to the Elitch Gardens in Colorado? The best rollar coaster in the world is offically Boomerang. It loops about three times, and then it does it backwards! Fun, right?**

"So, you've been spending your whole day doing this list?" Owen asked, lifting an eyebrow while studying the list.

"Uh-huh," Jack grinned.

"And you haven't been arrested for harassment?" Asked a surprised Tosh. The Doctor and Rose exchanged grins,

"Nope!" The Doctor grinned, "We're more cunning than that, Dr. Sato."

Toshiko blinked.

"Sounds like fun," Ianto said, looking at the list over Owen's shoulder. Owen glared at him and shoved him away,

"Get your own copy!"

Ianto rolled his eyes and muttered something about 'a highly immature doctor'.

"Is this where you've been the whole time?" Gwen asked, sounding a bit angry.

"No…" Jack smiled at Martha, "We've saved at least two worlds and forty lives."

The Torchwood team exchanged looks.

"So… are you going to stay now?" Ianto asked Jack softly.

"Weeeeellllllll, we still need to finish the list. We're only on the eighth thing, I think."

"So basically you just came back to brag that you're harassing innocent people and we're not?" Owen questioned sarcastically.

"Which," Tosh broke in, "Is _completely _wrong."

"Actually, we came back to see if you wanna have some fun and finish the list with us," The Doctor grinned and bounced on the balls of his feet.

The team exchanged looks again.

"Sure," Ianto shrugged.

"Ianto," Gwen began disapprovingly, "You can't be serious!"

Ianto shrugged again, "Why not?"

No one really knew what to say after that, but to say 'yes'.

So the Doctor herded everyone into the TARDIS.

The team looked around, eyes wide,

"It's-it's bigger," Gwen began, and Owen finished her,

"On the inside."

The Doctor and Rose smiled, while Jack kept a watchful eye over everyone, and Martha spoke to Tosh, answering her questions to the best of her ability.

"Blimey, I oughta start charging entrance fees!" The Doctor grinned as he set the coordinates. Martha rolled her eyes and turned back to Tosh.

"That's about right…"

The TARDIS shook as it traveled, throwing everyone around. The Time Lord and Rose were in hysterics by the time it stopped (naturally), Jack and Martha were grinning like mad, but the Torchwood team were all glaring.

"Couldn't have warned us?" Owen asked sarcastically.

"Nah, that would take away the fun!" The Doctor said gleefully, looking for the world like a hyper schoolboy. And because of his last dare, it was much easier to picture for Martha, Rose and Jack.

"So… what now?" Tosh asked while getting up and rubbing her bruised wrist.

"We do the dares," The Doctor grinned, "Torchwood, get ova here."

He pulled out the straws.

"Straws? We're drawing straws?" Gwen asked while eying the offending objects skeptically.

"Yep," He said it like it was obvious.

Ianto took the first straw, than Tosh, Owen and Gwen. Owen had the shortest one.

"Owen," The Doctor pulled him over, but was interrupted by Jack,

"So, are the newbies gonna go, and then us, or what?"

The Time Lord pondered for a moment,

"Nah, we'll just all draw straws next time. All right, Owen," He whispered something into the doctor's ear.

"What, seriously?"

"Yep!"

"Okay…"

"That's the spirit!"

* * *

**Here we go, Torchwood! And I refuse to believe that Tosh and Owen got killed. It did not happen in my household xD**


	11. Ninth On the List

**Disclaimer: Still don't own.**

**A/N: Have I told you how amazingly wondeful you guys are for putting up with my mediocre posting schedule? Really, thank you for sticking with this story. You people ought to be awarded 3 **

**(And yeah, KittyKat835, I've been to the water park at Elitchs, but not since I was about 10. All I remember are pirate ships. Have they changed it much?) **

* * *

Adriana Belay loved to be clean. Her house, office, car and anything else she owned were clean. She even kept her purse clean, which was more she could say for her colleague, Harvey Olsen. Adriana always carried around a mini bottle of Lysol with her, too. Who knows how many germs a doorknob could have? Adriana didn't know, so she thought she'd rather be safe than sorry.

Adriana squinted at the buttons, rubbed the lenses on her glasses, sprayed, and pushed the down button. She inspected her shirt for that spot of barbecue sauce Harvey had gotten on her at lunch, and smiled when she discovered that the Tide Pen really does work. She would have to stop at Walgreen's and pick up some more. Wait—was that a spot on her skirt? Adriana bent down to study the dreaded spot, but found that it was on her glasses instead. She frowned and took them off as she stepped into the newly arrived elevator.

"Which floor, ma'am?" A man asked from behind her.

"Uh, first, thank you." She scrapped the spot with her fingernail, and it came off. Adriana smiled triumphantly and put them back on.

"OWW! Dammit, look what you made me do!"

Adriana turned to the man confusedly. What could she have done? What she saw, though, almost gave her a heart attack.

The man was darkened by dirt from head to toe. His teeth were a slimy yellow, almost like they were painted. On the lower part of the man's face shaving cream covered everything. He had a razor in his hand, and a line of crimson was trickling down his cheek.

"What did I do?" Adriana asked on the verge of an extreme spasm.

"Uh, I dunno, THIS!" He pointed to the red on his cheek. "I just came into the elevator, hoping to shave my face -one of the most innocent actions in the world, I might add- and some crazed lady comes and does what ever she can to bring me pain. What is wrong with the world these days? It's all Global Warming, I tell ya. It does things to people. But then again, you can't corrupt an apple if it's already bad to begin with." He eyed the woman accusingly.

Adriana was too distracted by his appearance to focus on what he said at first, but when she recovered, she was shocked.

"Me? What did I do? That's not even blood… it's ketchup! And you can't _corrupt _an apple. And Global Warming _does not do things to people_."

The man's eyes became shifty and a suspicious expression crossed his face.

"That's not what Al Gore said."

He brought the razor up to his face and brought it down slowly, glaring at Adriana the whole time. His other hand came up to the newly revealed skin and squirted a red substance out of a packet.

"OWW! It wasn't bad enough to do it the first time?" He demanded as he brought his hand down quickly and pointed again.

"But- but I just saw you put ketchup on it! You did not cut yourself shaving, you put ketchup on!"

"No I didn't! You just cut me! I should sue for harassment!"

"I did _not _cut you!"

"You did too!"

"I did- you know what? It's not worth it. I'll just take the stairs." Adriana pushed the emergency stop button and waited for the doors to open. When they did, the man grabbed her arm. She flinched as the dirt rubbed off onto her skin.

"I hope you had a good life." He said in a monotone with an expressionless face. When he let go, Adriana rushed out of the elevator and down the steps.

Owen shrugged as the doors shut and the lift continued to descend. When they opened, onlookers stared and Owen remembered he still had the 'blood' on his face. He wiped it off hastily.

"Excuse me, Sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave," The man at the front desk said, looking Owen up and own.

"Is it the clothes? 'Cause I'll have you know I'm recycling. It's because of people like you that Global Warming is brain washing the world!" And with that, Owen stormed out of the building, fake fury radiating from him.

"Don't touch me!" Tosh squealed as he tried to hug her when he got back. She had been the first one he saw, and she had been laughing hysterically. She twisted away from his grip and shuffled to the other side of the room, refusing to get her clothes dirty. Owen grinned.

"Alrighty! Who's next…?" The Doctor asked, still grinning like a Cheshire cat.

They all gathered around him, save Owen, and drew a straw out.

"Oh…" Gwen said, a little fearful, when she saw that her straw was the smallest.

"Congratulations, Miss Cooper!" The Doctor said and yanked her close to him so her ear was by his mouth. He whispered the task quickly, and Gwen's eyes widened.

* * *

**Whoo! I love Owen/Tosh, so there's the Towen snippet of the day. And I am aware that Gwen isn't actually 'Miss Cooper' anymore, but even though I don't like Gwen, I think she deserves better than Rhys. Am I the only one who thinks Gwen/Andy would be adorable?**


	12. Tenth On the List

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: I'm so sorry I didn't update sooner! And this chapter's not even that good, either. I've been a bit distracted lately. I've just figured out my friend has been continually flamed and bashed, just because her fic had the same title as another one. I'm not giving out any names, but they even told her to go and die. Ah, what lovely young people!**

* * *

Some people were allergic to nuts, some dogs, and some rodents. Maxi Fleur, however, was allergic to all of the above. She was also allergic to grass, pollen, dairy, a variety of perfume and lotion, and fur. Some people may think that being allergic to so many things would be a major setback, but Maxi didn't. Maxi relished in them, for they were great excuses not to go to this person's house, or to not eat this or that. Oh yes, Maxi loved being allergic.

On this particular day, she had forgotten her pills, and that Adriana Belay had gotten a new can of Lysol. Maxi was allergic to Lysol. She ran down the halls to the elevator, inhaling and exhaling deeply. (Her doctor had always said that it made her reaction subtler) And in her rush, she ran into a girl.

"I'm… so… sorry," The allergy-prone worker gasped. Maxi got to her feet and offered the girl her hand. However, the girl ignored her and used a heavy looking bag to push herself off the ground.

"No," She said in a thick Welsh accent, "It's alright."

"I just… forgot my allergy pills…"

"I completely understand. Don't worry about it. "

'DING!' The elevator arrived.

The Welsh girl sighed, bent down, and grabbed the bag's strap with both hands.

"After you," She smiled.

Maxi nodded and gave the bag an odd look as she walked by.

"URGH!" The girl gasped as she used all her strength to pick the bag up and heave it into the elevator.

"Do you need any help?" Maxi offered.

"Help would be nice."

She nodded and helped the girl bring it into the elevator.

"I never caught your name. I'm Maxi Fleur."

"Nice to meet you, Maxi. My name is Maxi Fleur."

Maxi- the real, allergic Maxi- frowned. What were the odds that they had the same exact name? Not very high, that's for sure.

"I'm sorry, but did you say your name was Maxi Fleur?"

"Yes, that's correct," The Not-Real Maxi responded, still trying to heave the bag in all the way. When it was finally in, she went over to push the floor button she wanted.

"Can you push number one for me?" Maxi asked.

"Nope. It's stuck." She walked back over to grip her bag.

"_What_? But I _need_ to get home! I need my medicine! I can't be stuck! Do you know _how many floors_ _this thing has_?" She began her breathing exercises again just thinking of how long she'd have to wait.

The girl looked up from her bag to stare at her blankly, "Well, that's unfortunate."

Maxi sighed (but quickly inhaled again) and banged her head on the elevator wall.

"Now, that's not gonna help anything. But if you help lift this bag, now that'd be productive."

"Why do you…want to…lift the…stupid bag…anyway? What's…in it?"

"Fluffy!"

Maxi's eyes widened and she felt her throat become inflamed.

"...Fluffy?"

"Yeah, Fluffy!"

"And what is Fluffy?"

"Fluffy is a Doberman," The Welsh said smartly, and then looked down at the bag again, "I wonder if he has enough air in there…"

Maxi was gasping and exhaling, her hand on her throat, and she could just feel the hives breaking out.

"Why…did…you…stuff…a…. Doberman…. into…a…duffle bag?"

"I always thought those one bags where you only had the dog's head sticking out were cruel."

"I'M ALLERGIC TO DOBERMANS!" Maxi said loudly, "Oh, I'm…. gonna…. have to… go to the…. hospital and…. everything! Oh, I am… definitely sending…. you…. my bill!"

"Right… can you help me lift this bag?"

The worker widened her eyes and rushed over to the buttons to see if she could fix them, or at least call someone.

"THEY'RE NOT BROKEN?" Maxi question once she had reached them. Had she really just spent five minutes in a lift with a mad woman with a Doberman for no reason?

"Oh." The girl said, not really caring.

"Forget it, I'm taking the stairs." Maxi pushed the emergency stop button and rushed out of the lift. Walking down tens of stairs would be better than staying in there.

Gwen stared after her for a while before she opened the bag and pulled out a Hershey's chocolate bar. She pushed the down button, chewing on a square of chocolate.

"_You left the bag there_?" Rose asked in a fit of giggles when she got back, "That was like, ten pounds of chocolate!"

"Like you need anymore chocolate!" The Doctor snorted, "We have cabinets filled with that stuff!"

She stuck her tongue out at him, rather childishly, and he returned the favor.

"Alright, just for that you're doing the next dare with me!" The Time Lord decided, "Alright, everyone besides Owen, Gwen, and Rose come here!" At their puzzled expressions he rolled his eyes, "This one takes three people."

He shuffled the straws around and held them until everyone pulled one out.

"Jack!" The Doctor said merrily, obviously very pleased with the results, "It'll be just like old times," He put his arms around both Jack's and Rose's shoulders, "Her, you, and me, better with three!"

Jack and Rose exchanged frightened glances.

* * *

**Well, I tried to get some 10/Rose in there. Review? **


	13. Eleventh On the List

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight or Doctor Who or Torchwood.**

**A/N: Special guest, Bella Swan from Twilight! (It's alright if you haven't read Twilight, I made it Anti-Twilight Friendly) I wanted to put my favorite character in it, Quil, but I think he was the one with the anger issues... "OMG, there's a werewolf in the elevator!" **

* * *

Bella Swan had no idea what so ever she was doing here. Edward Cullen, her fiancé, had insisted that she go and have a job interview. After much convincing, she had finally agreed, thinking that she would be able to start paying for herself. But Bella was pretty sure she had bombed it. She had been late, tripped over her own feet and ended up spilling coffee all over herself and the interviewer, and had given all the wrong answers. Bella was pretty sure she wasn't getting this job.

She walked down the corridor, arms folded over the coffee stain. Right now, there was nothing more she wanted to do than go home back to Washington. But, Edward, being Edward, would make her go to about five hundred more interviewers. And she, being Bella, would be dazzled instantly and comply. Damn him, anyway.

Bella sighed frustratingly, balancing her suit jacket and half-filled coffee cup while she pushed the 'Down' button on the elevator. She didn't even like coffee. It felt like hours before the elevator door finally opened. She sighed again, telling herself it wouldn't be long until she could just stop all of this.

The doors were almost closed when a woman came dashing down the hall, yelling at the people inside the lift to keep the doors opened. A man standing behind Bella frowned, but stepped up and held the doors open anyway.

"Omigod!" The woman gasped once she was in, "Omigod, Omigod, Omigod!" She looked positively petrified.

Bella had seen- and felt- enough of that particular emotion.

"Are you alright?" She asked, frowning slightly at the woman's lack of composure.

She shook her head, gasping for breath, "They're coming, oh God, THEY'RE COMING!"

"Who's coming?" Bella asked, puzzled.

"_THEM!_ Oh god, they're coming!"

Bella set down her cup and jacket, and placed her hands on the woman's shoulders to calm her down.

"Please, calm down and tell me exactly who's coming."

The woman opened her mouth to reply, but then the lift stopped. Her eyes went wide and she whimpered.

"I bet that's _them_. Oh no…they're here."

"_Who's here?_" Bella spoke each word slowly, spreading out the syllables clearly.

The lift doors opened and the woman let out a scream.

Two men, dressed entirely in black from the black baseball caps and sunglasses to the black leather boots, stomped in. On their chests was written, "NOOGIE PATROL" in big, white, blocky-letters.

"Oh god, help me!" The woman gasped and dove behind Bella. Bella frowned, bent down, and whispered,

"Listen, my dad's a police officer…"

"That won't help," The girl whispered back, "They're in the _same league_."

"But they're uniforms say 'Noo-'"

"SHHH!" The woman shushed her, and then looked around frantically, "They'll hear you!"

Bella didn't want to be the one to say they were looking straight at her.

"What's going on?" The man who had held the doors open for her asked, "Is everything all right?"

"No, everything is _not _all right!" The woman started to sob suddenly and uncontrollably, "And it's all _her _fault!" She thrust an angry finger at Bella.

"_My _fault?" Bella asked, shocked and a bit angry, "How is this _my _fault?"

The lift doors opened and the men stepped towards them. The woman screamed again as they grabbed her wrists and thrust her up. They both slipped separate pairs of handcuffs around her wrists, but only handcuffed one and left the other free.

"THIS IS ALL _YOUR_ FAULT!" The woman screamed as they led her out, pointing frantically at Bella, "THIS IS ALL _YOUR _DAMN FAULT!"

The lift doors closed and descended down the last few floors. Bella stood staring at the doors, jaw slightly agape. The man inched away from her slowly.

When the doors opened, Edward was there to greet her.

"How was the interview?" He asked as he slipped a hand around her waist and kissed the top of her head.

"Uh…" Bella began, not exactly sure how to paraphrase her day.

It had been on all their minds, but Jack was the one to ask once they got back.

"So, Doc, do you always carry around hand cuffs in your pocket?"

"Yep," he answered distractingly.

"Kinky," Owen commented from his spot on the Captain's chair.

"Alright," The Doctor announced, cutting off everyone who was about to remark, "Everyone who hasn't gone since Torchwood got here, come 'ere!"

They did their regular ritual, with Ianto having the shortest straw.

It was true, he had enjoyed everyone else's task, but he stared at that straw with as much fear as a child looking at a stray Weevil.

* * *

**Annnnnyyyway, I'm in a considerably better mood today. Billie Piper's been on a show called 'Extra' quite a lot lately for 'Diay of a Call Girl', and DW's not all that popular here in the States, so that's cool. And didja hear her news? Our Billie's pregnant! Speaking of which, did you see the trailer for Saturday? Can't wait!**


	14. Twelfth On the List

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**A/N: You guys are amazing. No really, 98 reviews?! That's fantastic! I should make you guys an award..**

* * *

'Morals Matter' was David Typhus's favorite quote, because it was absolutely true. Morals _do _matter, possibly more than anything on earth. Because without morals, what would the world be? A disgusting, moral-less place David Typhus had nightmares about.

"Evening, David!" Samantha called as he passed her cubicle. David sighed and rolled his eyes. It was a known fact around this floor that Samantha fancied David, and it was an equally known fact that Samantha was married. She has been for thirteen years. That was not moral. Therefore, David did not like Samantha. She could not be trusted.

"Evening, Samantha." David mumbled back. Just because he didn't like her didn't mean he should be rude. Samantha giggled quite loudly and quite girlishly. David started walking a little faster.

He pushed the down button on the elevator, whistling his favorite song.

"David!" A voice squealed, "I didn't know that you listened to John Barrowmen! Oh, 'Anything Goes' is my favorite!"

David gritted his teeth and looked up to see Samantha grinning excitedly in front of him.

"Mrs. Furlongs, it is too my knowledge that you don't get off work until six. It is, in fact, still four."

"I know. But David, you looked so lonely standing there alone."

"I'm not lonely."

"Are you sure? You're not…seeing anybody." Her voice got deeper as she stepped closer. David stepped back nervously.

"I, uh, er," He began, but was saved once the elevator door opened. "Good evening, Mrs. Furlongs."

The worker sighed in relief and rested his head against the wall for a moment. Samantha could use some counseling…maybe that's what he could get her for her birthday.

After the lift descended one floor, it stopped again. The doors opened and so did David's mouth.

In came a man, soaking wet. All her was wearing was a plaid dressing gown, which he was still doing up. His hair kept dripping water droplets down his face, which he wiped up occasionally with a towel.

He sighed, pushed the down button, and turned to face the still-shocked David.

"I hate it," He began with a welsh accent through gritted teeth, "When they come home early."

David widened his eyes, "Pardon?"

"Wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part!"

"I'm sure I've no idea what you're on about."

"You know what I'm talking about, Gov'ner," The man elbowed him and winked.

"No, sir, I don't know. And I will thank you to leave me alone." This man obviously was not very big on morals. Obviously. David shuffled to the other side of the elevator.

"Can you do me a favor, Gov'ner?" The welsh man asked.

"If it involves counseling, I'd be more than happy." David mumbled, refusing to look up at the man.

"No," The man grinned widely, "Counseling is for people who actually need it."

"Oh." David said simply and sarcastically.

"When you see a woman in her late 20's, dark brown hair, brown eyes, and welsh accent, tell her, 'Bartholomew Foregrounds says sorry for leaving so soon. Cathy was coming home.' Can you do that for me, Gov'ner?"

"Sure, sure." David nodded. The elevator stopped and the man, Bartholomew, turned to David again,

"Thanks, Gov'ner. If you're ever alone and… well, you know. Here's my number." He handed David a slip of paper and winked before walking out.

"Of course," David called after him, but rolled his eyes once the doors closed, "When hell freezes over." He slipped the number in his pocket, shaking his head disappointedly. Maybe it was _Bartholomew _who needed the counseling for Christmas.

"You didn't actually give out your number?" Gwen asked once Ianto returned.

Ianto grinned, "Don't be absurd. I gave him Owen's."

Across the room Owen sat up and was suddenly very interested in the current conversation,

"You did _what_?"

"Nothing." Ianto answered while he grabbed his suit and headed for the bathroom, smiling smugly.

"Right," The Doctor said, sounding very amused, "I believe it's just Miss Sato and Dr. Jones."

"Yep." Jack answered for them.

"C'mere." The Doctor motioned for them to gather around him. "A'right, goin' for the gold!" He grinned at them while they rolled their eyes.

"Toshiko Sato!" He cheered once they chose. The ecstatic Time Lord put his arm around her shoulder. "I've always liked you, you know that?"

"Er…" She began a little awkwardly.

* * *

**Everyone see 'Turn Left'? I squealed once I saw Billie's name in the credits. But why do they have to make us wait so long for 'The Stolen Earth'? Maybe it's to give us time to cram all the reunion fics... 'cause after Saturday, there's no more reunion fics. Sad, ain't it? D:**


	15. Thirteenth On the List

**Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who or Torchwood, Doctor/Rose would have exsisted a looong time ago, and so would Jack/Doctor/Rose, if I were in the mood. Tosh and Owen would have never died, and thier wedding would be next week. Eugene would've never died, and him and Gwen are expecting anytime now. Ianto... Ianto can have Bliss. You know that one girl in 'Love and Monsters'? She was the first to go, but she wouldn't have even gone if I owned Doctor Who. So there. **

**A/N: You lucky Brits, you. You get to see 'Stolen Earth' at least four hours before me, I believe. What time is it in London? Ah well, you still get to see Who before me.**

* * *

Alex Chafe didn't think she was annoying, but apparently everyone else did. Her parents, her teachers, and now her band mates had all said she was a huge nuisance. Alex didn't think she was. Just because she pestered them into more practice until they said yes did _not _make her annoying. Just…devoted. Yes, Alex Chafe was devoted, not a nuisance.

Her mum, however, _was _annoying. She had harassed and harassed Alex until she left the house to get a job, despite the fact that Alex and her band were due any moment now to be discovered by a huge record company. Alex had been very good at avoiding her, -quite heroically, actually- up until her door mysteriously locked when her and her mother were both in the room. How mysterious.

It turned out one of her mum's ex-boyfriends had a job here, David. David was strange, though. He had broken up with her mum once he found out about Alex. Really, he should've been off the wall with excitement once he found out about Alex, but he was weird, so he wasn't. Well, David didn't help to get her a job there, cause it was 'wrong', so her mum had sent Alex there to go speak to David's boss for a job so she could annoy him endlessly when she got it. However, Alex had neglected to tell her that these kind of jobs needed diplomas, which Alex did not have. Ah well, too late now.

So here Alex was now, cracking her gum in her bright red tights and black leather suspenders while she walked down towards the elevator. Diplomas were overrated, anyway.

"Do you mind?!" A woman called over her cubicle.

Alex grinned but kept on popping her gum.

The woman went back to her work, mumbling something about how 'the youth of today are getting brainwashed by Hannah Montana'.

Alex pressed the down button on the lift. When it didn't come, she pressed it again and again. It still didn't come. She sighed and popped her gum again.

When it _finally _came, there was already a woman in it. The woman had black hair pulled back into a tight, professional bun, and she was dressed in a professional black suit. Alex grinned. Black suits meant big companies. Or prostitutes, but Alex was more optimistic than that.

"Hi," Alex grinned and reached into her pocket for the demo CD she always carried around. "My name is Alex, and I was wondering… do you happen to know any recording studios?"

The woman turned to look at her with an expressionless face. Alex took this as a sign to keep going.

"I'm in a band, 'Dalek'. I know the name's a little strange, but it's our initials: Dana, Alex, Livvy, Ellie, and Kat. Dalek. And I was wondering if you could… I dunno… give this to the studio?"

The woman took the CD, but she didn't even look at it.

"Thank you sooo much!" Alex gushed. Take _that_, Mum!

"I must find a more suitable host body."

"Pardon?" Alex's fantasies were interrupted by a strange, gravelly voice.

"I must find a more suitable host body."

Alex felt her blood chill. That voice could _not _be human.

"What-what do you mean?" She stuttered, stepping away from the woman slowly.

The woman-who-didn't-sound-human suddenly grinned widely. Not a happy grin though, a manic, gruesome grin.

"Congratulations." It said in the same demonic voice and started advancing on Alex. Alex's eyes widened and she let out frightened scream as she scrambled to push the emergency stop button. She ran quickly out of the lift, scared to the bone.

Toshiko sighed and pushed the button again.

"That," Martha laughed, "Has to be the _freakiest _dare on there!"

Toshiko smiled faintly as she closed the TARDIS door behind her.

The Doctor, however, looked scared out of his wits.

"Martha," He began, "That-that wasn't the dare."

Martha's eyes widened and she turned back to look at Tosh, who had the manically horrible grin on her face again.

"Y-you mean…?"

"Yes." Tosh said in the same Halloween-ish voice.

Everyone on the TARDIS – save Tosh- widened their eyes fearfully as a deadly silence settled.

It was broken, however, by the Doctor's gleeful laughter. And eventually, Tosh's.

"You should've seen your faces!" He laughed and put his arm that wasn't placed around Rose's shoulders soothingly on Toshiko's. "I didn't think you'd play along with it at first!"

"Take up acting, did you?" Tosh giggled.

"Nah, I'm just _that_ gifted." He winked at Rose.

She chuckled sheepishly, still getting over the scare, "Your full of it."

"With reason." The Doctor grinned and focused on Martha, "You're turn, Miss Jones."

The over-confident Time Lord let go of Rose and Tosh and strolled over to Martha.

* * *

**Someone shoot me for even thinking up Donna/Mickey and Rose/Jenny.**


	16. Fourteenth On the List

****

Disclaimer: -- Notice how it says DISclaimer.

**A/N: I laughed, screamed, cried, and turned my friends into unsuspecting victems of rant, all because of the new Who. Gah, I'm suing for mentel damage. Well, I'm going on vacation again, so don't be expecting a chapter until Wednsday of next week.**

* * *

Cody Herrington knew the difference between reality and fiction. Fiction was magic, love and happy endings. Reality was late nights in the office and two ex-wives. Two very vengeful ex-wives. His mother had never read him and fairytales, "It rots the brain," She had said, "Fills it with ideas of nonsense." And surprisingly, he didn't grow up with a TV, either. The first time he had one was when he was bunking with his friend in college, and even then he'd pushed the Television off of the fire exit. Cody had seen no reason to keep it.

Cody had spent his childhood watching his dad do his work, and reading non-fiction books. His dad had had a fascinating job as a CEO, and Cody wanted to be just like him. So the moment Cody had gotten out of college, he drove over to Integra Insurance and gotten a job there. Cody didn't believe that he could be happier.

However, he didn't like 6 pm on weekdays. 6 pm was when he went home, and he'd much rather stay at the office. His boss told him that she was worried, though, and made him go home.

Cody sighed as he saved his document and got ready to go home. Why did he have to go home, anyway? It was boring there.

He walked down the corridor, juggling his three briefcases as he strained to press the down button. When he finally managed, he set his load down to rest his arms.

"D'you need help with those?" A woman asked him kindly once the lift came and the doors opened. Cody looked up at her and smiled. She was cute, and he was single, and they were alone. New date, perhaps?

"That'd be good, thanks."

She reached down to grab one while he grabbed the other two and walked in. Once he was in, he noticed she was wearing a nametag. Upside down. And it said, 'Dumbledore'.

"Dumbledore?" He asked, eyebrow arched.

"Yes?" She grinned and reached into her pocket. When her hand came out, she was holding a piece of paper with more nametags on it. 'Dumbledore' pealed one off that said 'Cedric Diggory' and pushed it on his suit jacket firmly.

"Excuse me, but I'm not 'Cedric Diggory'."

"Yes you are."

Cody was about to object again, but the doors opened and in stepped a middle-aged woman.

"Hi!" 'Dumbledore' peeled off another nametag that read, 'Hagrid' and stuck it on her. The woman looked down at it for a moment, and then looked mildly offended.

"My name's not Hagrid."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's really not."

"'Course it is, Hagrid. Did someone put a memory charm spell on you?"

Cody stepped in, "Spells? As in witches and wizards?"

"Yes." 'Dumbledore' said it as though it were the most obvious thing on the planet.

The elevator stopped again and a man stepped in.

'Dumbledore' did her nametag thing, and gave him one that said, 'Cho Chang'.

"Nice of you to join us, Miss Chang."

"_What_? _Miss_? I assure you I'm _not _Miss Chang."

"Oh dear," Dumbledore sounded a bit frightened, "I hope there's not something in the pumpkin juice."

"There's no such thing as wizards." Cody stepped in once again.

"Mr. Diggory, are you feeling alright? Can you tell me what ball a Seeker goes after?"

"A seeker? What the hell is that? And my name is not 'Mr. Diggory'."

Another woman stepped in, and earned the name 'Draco Malfoy'. She looked amused.

"I'm Draco, now, am I," She squinted at 'Dumbledore's nametag and chuckled lightly, "Headmaster?"

Dumbledore smiled, "Who else would you be, Mr. Malfoy?"

The woman shrugged.

"Mr. Malfoy? Headmaster? You're crazy, the both of you."

'Dumbledore' had a twinkle in her eye as she responded, "Maybe, but I at least remember my name." She switched Cody's nametag with the woman's. "There."

"Is this a party?" A man asked as he walked in, smiling a bit.

"It could be." She handed him a nametag with 'Luna Luvgood' written across it.

"My name's not Luna Luvgood, Miss."

"Yes it is."

Cody hid his head in his hands, frustrated.

"How d'ya figure?" The man asked.

"I'm Dumbledore. I know everything."

In the time it took to reach the floor, four more unsuspecting employees walked in, earning the names, 'Fred Weasely', 'Neville Longbottem', 'Remus Lupin', and 'Tom Riddle', and Cody's migraine had increased frighteningly high.

"You're insane," He mumbled, "You're completely insane. Go back to your asylum, you mad hatter."

'Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

The moment the door opened, Cody grabbed his briefcases and made a run for it, ignoring the odd looks he got.

Martha smiled and nodded to everyone as they got out of the lift before she got out herself, giggling.

When she got back to the TARDIS, everyone was high on laughter.

"Can I call you 'Dumbledore now?" Jack asked.

"Not if you want to keep your head." Martha answered simply.

Jack grinned, "You'd miss it too much."

Martha shoved his shoulder playfully and bit back a grin."Allllllrrrrrriiiiiggggghhhhhttttttt," The Doctor stretched the word out as long as he could and his eyes twinkled not unlike the way Martha's had previously, "I believe that's everyone. So, Owen, c'mere!"

Owen stopped laughing—rather abruptly—and looked up at the giddy Time Lord fearfully. He decided he wasn't going to move from his rather comfortable spot on the captain's chair with Tosh sitting beside him.

The Doctor sighed melodramatically and walked over to the medical doctor.

"Wouldn't that be illegal?" Asked a wide-eyed Owen once the Doctor told him the next task. The Time Lord only shrugged.

* * *

**I have to wait three extra days to see Journey's End D:**


	17. Fifteenth On the List

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

**A/N: ...is it safe to come out? Let's see, it's been what... three weeks? I'm sorry for leaving you guys hanging. But more than 130 reviews... wow. I think I should go review your guys' stories, and then find your YouTube and comment you videos, and whatever else you have ;)**

* * *

"Charlotte, honey, can you please go and get me some coffee?" Taylor Stefan asked her eleven-year-old daughter.

"Depends."

"On what?" Taylor loved her daughter, but she could be a down right pain some times. She had brought her daughter to work today because she was sick and had to stay home from school. It had been a very long day, and Taylor needed one last cup of coffee to survive the last half-hour of her job.

"Well, where is it? I don't see no coffee stand."

"You don't see _a _coffee stand."

"What?"

"The correct way of saying it is 'I don't see _a _coffee stand'."

Charlotte snorted in her I'm-eleven-but-I'm-going-to-act-like-a-hormonal-teenager type of way, "Whatever. Where is it?"

Taylor sighed. This attitude was from her father's side.

"It's one floor down to the left."

"But Moooooommm!"

"What?" Charlotte was certainly testing her patience.

"What if I run into some creepy rapist?"

"Charlotte! This is an _office_. Everyone else has gone home. We're the only people here."

"I know! So if I screamed no one would hear me."

"You see this card?" Taylor held up her ID, "You can't get into the parking garage with out this card. No one's going to come and get you."

Charlotte considered this for a moment, "The parking garage?"

"Yes, Charlotte, the parking garage. They have a lot of security done there."

"Fine. I'll get your freakin' coffee."

Taylor sighed again.

Charlotte skipped down the hall, loving the fact that no one could see her. She grinned when she came to the elevator—she'd always loved riding in them. She waited rather impatiently for the lift to come to her floor. And when it did, she nearly screamed.

There was a man in it already.

But he seemed nice enough. Good clothes, good hair cut, normal looking… nope, not a creepy rapist. So she gave a small smile and pushed the down button.

"Hello." The man said in a thick accent. Charlotte was no expert, but she supposed it sounded Indian.

"Hi."

The man shuffled up towards her. He slowly walked around her in a circle. Charlotte found herself shivering, and not because it was cold.

"What are you doing?" She managed to choke out.

The man grinned, "You are a very pretty young girl." His accent made his voice drop and gain several octaves with each word.

"Thank-you." Charlotte smiled now. She knew she was very pretty, of course, but it was always nice to hear.

"Hmmm, remind me a bit of my niece."

Charlotte didn't know what to say to that, so she just nodded politely.

"Tell me, how much is it to buy you?"

Charlotte widened her eyes and hoped she had misheard him.

"Err, pardon?"

"How much would it cost to purchase you?"

She was equally dumbfounded and scared.

"I-uh- uh…." The doors opened and she ran out immediately. When this was all over, Charlotte would need to remind her mom just how many times she's been wrong.

Owen sighed, "Damn. There goes another one."

Everyone's jaws were dropped –save one time lord—when Owen got back, but they quickly burst into a fit of giggles.

"That was…" Gwen began, but was unable to find the right word.

"You're a good actor," Tosh mused.

Owen shrugged, "I'm good at a lot of things."

Jack rolled his eyes.

The Doctor watched the exchanged, amused.

"Okey-dokey then! Who's next?"

"I think its Gwen." Rose commented from beside him.

"Ah, yes, Gwen. The next victim." He thought for a moment, studying said former police officer silently. "Tell me, Gwen, do you come from a long line of family dating back to say…. Victorian Cardiff?"

Gwen widened her eyes in surprise, "Yes. I was named after my great-great grandmother, Gwyneth."

The Doctor and Rose exchanged wide 100-watt grins.

"Alright, Gwen. You're turn… tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Martha asked.

"Well, it's closed now."

"Wait—we're spending the night? I need to call Rhys…"

"Well, not technically. See, we need to leave real quickly; they have security guards who check this garage before they leave. So when we leave, we'll just come back tomorrow morning."

"Time machine?" Ianto grinned.

"Time machine." The Doctor nodded, and couldn't suppress a grin of his own. He grabbed the lever, and pulled.

* * *

**Hmmm.. Journey's End. What to say about it? I loved the Rose/Doctor reunion, the Donna/Jack just pwned, and Tosh saving the team even in death made me smile. I hated Rose having to leave, and the Doctor mind-raping Donna was not good. At all. And I'm sorry, but I'm getting rather sick of all the Post-JE fics. You know what would be awesome? If Torchwood season three got somehow involved with paralell Torchwood... oh yes.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Don't own. **

**A/N: New, news, news... right! I'm trying a new style of writing in this chapter, so please tell me if I should stick with this one or go back to the old. And, please don't try to fit this fic into the series. It doesn't fit anywhere.  
**

* * *

"And there we were, naked-"

"Naked?!"

"Naked! And I'm like, 'Go left!' And he says, 'Oh, no! Going left'll get us killed!' So we go left, and there's this huge window, the size of a SUV, looking out to all of the festival, and you know what he says?"

"'I knew we should have gone left!'"

Laughter fills the room.

"I don't believe one word of it," Martha states through tears of laughter.

"You should, cause it is true. Isn't that right, Doc?" Jack asks, all smiles.

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about." The Doctor says distracted, messing with the TARDIS controls.

Jack rolls his eyes and turns back to his eager audience, ready to amuse them with another exaggerated tail.

"Alright, this one time we went to this planet called Women Wept, cause it actually looked like a woman crying. And it's frozen. Everything there is frozen, so when we went to the ocean--"

"Not that story!" The Doctor interrupts and looks up sharply. "Tell anything but that story!"

Rose giggles on the captain's chair, "Don't listen to him. S'a good story!"

Jack grins at her and begins the story again, "Where was I?"

"You were going to the frozen ocean." Gwen offers.

"Right, so the Doctor…"

The Doctor cringes noticeably and turns to Rose, aiming to drown out the good Captain's story.

"That a new shirt?"

"Hmm?" Rose is already enticed with Jack's story.

"You were there, Rose." He whines.

"But it's funny."

The Doctor sighs and turns back to the counsel, just as a chorus of laughter erupts.

"Companions," He mutters quietly, "You show 'em the wonders, and they stab you in the back. Just because one icicle looked like a banana…"

More laughter.

"Traitor."

Rose is still giggling on the couch. "Sorry. But it is funny."

He sniffs, rather indignantly, and pulls the lever, sending them all flying.

"You coulda warned us?" Rose asks, rubbing her arm.

"Traitors need to be punished." The Doctor shrugs.

She sighs, "What ever helps you get to sleep at night, Doctor."

"Are you trying to kill my team?" Jack asks, helping Ianto and Tosh up.

"Yes, Jack, 'cause you need my help."

It's all in good humor, so they laugh along, and in a matter of seconds, Jack's back to telling his story, but the Doctor motions for Rose to come over to him.

"Yes, Doctor?" Gone are the smiles and teasing nature as she notes at the Doctor's frown.

"How do you feel about Martha?"

"She's nice. Why?"

"Well…" He takes her hand and runs to the door. She makes to open them, but the Doctor beats her to it.

"OI! Spaceman!" A woman with red hair shouts angrily once the doors are all the way open. From what Rose can see, it looks like they've landed in a living room.

The Doctor raises a hand and tugs on his ear nervously, "Hello Donna."

* * *

**Just a short little chapter, but hey, Donna! **


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Don't own. **

**A/N: School. Sucks. My school starts this afternoon, so that's the real reason I'm posting this. I figure if I post a story this morning, I'll hopefully have some reviews to read when I get home to make it a wonderful--no, fantastic day. Anyway, Allons-y! (I've always wanted to say that xD)**

* * *

"You landed the TARDIS."

"Ye--"

"In my living room."

"But--"

"On bloody Christmas Eve."

"It's Christmas? Oh, merry Christmas, Donna Noble!" He smiles widely, some would say manically, and it's clear he's hoping to get out of any beating.

"OI." Donna's not amused. Her brows are creased, her eyes full of rage, and her arms crossed. She taps her foot impatiently, waiting for an explanation for the alien's rather abrupt visit.

Clearly the Doctor's not getting out of anything.

"You do know my mum is going to be home any second now, don't you? And that she's going to come home and see a big blue bleedin' box where out Christmas tree should be!"

Gone is the hysteric smile, and instead his hand comes up to tug at his ear nervously. "You see, I didn't actually--"

"You didn't what? Plan this? I damn hope not!"

"DONNA!"

"WHAT!?"

"Finger on lips." He brings his index finger to his pursed lips. Donna stares at him. "Finger on lips." The Doctor repeats, giving her a meaningful look. She rolls her eyes, but complies anyway.

"Alright. No, I did not plan on landing the TARDIS in your living room. I didn't even plan on dropping by, no offense. I like you and all, but we were kind of busy and I think that if you were on my mind all the time anyway it would be kind of creepy—don't say anything. The reason we were so busy was because we were doing this list. It was a very fun list, '101 Things to do in an Elevator' and we're only on, what, fifteen? It's Gwen's turn anyway. Well, the place where we were doing it closed down and we couldn't stay in the parking lot any longer or else we'd be in trouble for trespassing so we were going to step out and slip into tomorrow to finish the list but instead of landing in the parking garage again we landed in your house. Say, do you want to join us? It'd be a jolly good time!"

Donna blinks at him. She doesn't know which is weirder; that the Doctor managed to say all that in one breath or that he'd said 'jolly'.

"So? You wanna come with?" He wiggles his fingers at her, smiling.

"You're mad."

"So I've been told."

"No, really, you're mental."

The Doctor sighs at her blank expression. "Donna Noble, you choose to stay here working as a temp when you could be out having the time of your life and you're calling _me _mental?"

Donna doesn't know what to say to this, so she just simply gapes at him.

"Come on, last chance." His smile returns.

"Donna! Is that you in there? Cecile—you remember her, tall, brown hair?—knows of a good job just down the road, and the pay is twice what you get--"

She doesn't stay to listen to the rest of her mother's ramblings. In one motion her hand's entwined with the Doctor and she's standing in front of the familiar coral-like railings of the TARDIS.

"Ummm… Doc?"

Everyone—save for Donna and the Doctor—had crowded around a Christmas tree in front of the counsel. A majority of them look like they're about to burst into a fit of giggles at any moment. The Doctor's smile widens.

"Merry Christmas! Sorry, Jack, you get coal. Can't say I'm surprised…"

"Hey!" Jack protests jokingly. That does it for Gwen, Martha and Rose; they come apart in a convulsion of chuckles. Donna, however, has her sights set on Jack. Jack notices and winks, causing Donna to giggle girlishly. Tosh notices and sends a wary look to Martha, but she's too busy kidding around with Gwen and Rose to see.

"Donna? Where'd you go?"

The Doctor sobers up immediately at Donna's mother's voice coming from just outside the TARDIS,

"DONNA! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

_Oh dear, _The Doctor thinks sullenly, _I hate it when they find out about the TARDIS. _

'_Oh, yes, pity _you_.' _The TARDIS says silently in his head. The Doctor chuckles quietly to himself and pulls a lever, which sends everyone flying once again.

"Gang! No, that doesn't sound right, too Scooby-Doo. Squad? Posse?" He frowns.

"More of a team, actually." Jack corrects as he gets up.

"Oh, whatever you lot are. May I introduce you to Donna Noble!" He motions to Donna. "Donna Noble, this is Martha Jones, Gwen Cooper, Owen Harper, Ianto Jones, Toshiko Sato, Rose Tyler, and Jack Harkness." Donna's eyes study the Doctor's when he says 'Rose Tyler', but the moment he begins the next name they avert to Jack.

Owen stares at the Doctor, a kind of scared expression on his face, "…I never told you my last name."

The Doctor just simply grins at him.

Owen widens his eyes, "Yeah, cos' that's not creepy at all…"

"So," Donna begins, sneaking looks at Jack. Jack never takes his eyes off her. Martha finally takes notice and frowns. "What exactly are you doing?"

"Ever get that one forwarded e-mail about things to do in a lift?"

Donna nods slowly.

"Ta-da!"

"Oh you have _got _to be kidding me!"

"Nope. It's all fun."

The look on her face is unbelieving.

"I…"

"Want to join in?" The Doctor offers.

"No I don't want to bloody join in! Aren't half the things on that list illegal?"

He frowns in consideration, "I would say about… one sixteenth."

"No. Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on," Jack walks around Tosh and Ianto so he's in front of her, smiling, "If you don't want to do something you can say no."

"What?" Ianto asks, frowning, "I didn't know that!"

"Yeah!" Rose agrees, "You could've said that _before _I went in dressed like a bleedin' Girl Scout!"

"But it's more fun if you don't say no," The Doctor says hurriedly, and then turns to face Rose, "And that outfit was cute on you! Were you a Girl Scout when you were younger, Rosie Posie?"

She sends him a death glare, which makes him giggle.

Ianto looks puzzled, "Doctor, you have a Girl Scout uniform?"

The Doctor's sober once again.

"Well…" Donna begins, still a little reluctant, "Okay. What the hell." Jack and the Doctor share a victorious grin.

* * *

**Hmmm... I almost hate to break-up Jack/Martha. Wait, no I don't xD. I like Martha and all, but lets face it, Donna PWNS her. But it's not like I'd ship Martha/Hell or anything. (Haha.)**


	20. Sixteenth On the List

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Disclaimer: Not mine.

**A/N: Whooo! I survived the first day of school! Although I might not survive writing for the rest of the year... my writing teacher's voice is the cure to insomnia. And a big thank-you to everyone who's reviewed!**

* * *

Maxi Fleur is _not_ crazy. She may be a lot of things (allergic, controlling, ect.), but she is definitely not crazy.

She had had a long talk with her husband last night, and he doesn't seem to believe this. Maxi doesn't understand why, though. A girl with her same name ran in to her elevator carrying a bag full of Doberman and called it Fluffy and said the buttons were broken. That was perfectly plausible, wasn't it? Apparently not. And it hadn't helped that her eye had twitched while explaining all this.

Well, her husband had made sure to call the neighborhood therapist. Since he took extra care to clarify every single detail of what had happened, she's more than happy to help. Not that Maxi needs it.

So this morning she came in tired and fed-up. The whole day was tiring and fed-up-worthy. So the moment the clock ticks four, Maxi is out of there.

"Mrs. Fleur!" Someone calls from over the cubical. Maxi sighs in exasperation_. _Great. Her boss. A balding man with glasses and a thick walrus mustache pokes his head over, "Mrs. Fleur, please understand that I am aware of you condition and you are welcomed to take as many days as you need to get back to your rightful state of mind."

Her teeth grind together, "I DON'T need any time to get back to my 'rightful state of mind'! Do you want to know why? BECAUSE I'M NOT CRAZY!"

His beady eyes look at her with sympathy while everyone else turn their heads to see what the yelling is about.

"Of course, Mrs. Fleur." Her eyes narrow as she detects the placating tone in his voice. She turns on her heels and walks down the corridor, head held high and whispering 'Not crazy' over and over.

She passes the elevator (which she secretly refers to as 'The Source of All Things Evil') without so much as a second glance and heads to the stairs.

"Sorry, ma'am," A man in a navy jumpsuit says when she reaches the door, "Stairs are closed."

"Closed? _Why _are they closed?"

"Er… I'm not supposed to say why." He looks around wildly, and then leans in. "Someone spilled their Red Bull. And you know how them roaches love their sugar-fueled energy."

Maxi's eyes widen, "You're not serious?!"

"Wish that were true, ma'am." And like a true southern gentleman, he tips his baseball hat and heads out, leaving a gaping employee. This meant… she turned quickly and rested her eyes on the Source of All Things Evil. Oh, she is going to find that person who spilt Red Bull. And when she does, they better sleep with one eye open.

She grinds her teeth again as she pushes the down button. It's all mapped out in her mind; push the button, close eyes and wait until she can get off. Her eyes are already closed when she steps in.

"Hi!" Oh no… not her. It's that same Welsh voice that fills up the lonely elevator, and that same girl. The one who's truly crazy. And they're alone.

"OH!" Maxi gasps as her eyes snap open, "IT'S YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The girl looks confused; "I've never met you in my life."

"Yes! YOU WERE IN HERE YESTERDAY!" Her hands thrust out, her index fingers pointing riotously. "YOU AND YOUR BAG! FLUFFY!"

She blinks, and seemingly makes the choice to ignore Maxi, "Okay."

Maxi looks at her desperately, but she steadily ignores her. Maybe it was all in her head…

"OMIGOD!" Maxi whips her head back around to see the girl looking frantically at her mouth…where she's blowing spit bubbles. "OMIGOD! Do you see THAT?"

"That you're crazy and I'm not?" Maxi is ecstatic.

"NO! I'm MELTING!"

She stops gloating for a moment and looks at the Welsh. Her eyes are crossed as she watches a stream of saliva trickle down her chin.

"LOOK! I'M MELTING! OH, GOD SAVE ME!" She's on her knees now, sobbing. "OH, WHAT DID I DO WRONG? IS IT KARMA?" She begins to beg Maxi now, and Maxi doesn't know what to make of it. At least she doesn't have a Doberman this time.

The girl grabs her hand and uses it as a tissue, but then pulls back. "LOOK! I'M MELTING! OHHH!" She begins her tears again. Maxi pulls out her camera phone. Proof!

At the flash, the girl stumbles back, dazed.

"That was bright…" Her tone is normal, and her facial expression is calm as she blinks over and over again. "Now, where was I? Right." She blows some more spit bubbles and stares at it again, "I'M MELTING! OMIGOD!"

To say that Maxi I overjoyed would be one of the biggest understatements. And despite the confusion and frustration of it all, she's wearing a huge smile as she steps out of the lift. The girl runs out crying and screaming, "LOOK AT ME, I'M MELTING!" Maxi is satisfied to see that she earns even more stares than she had on her way down.

And her satisfaction only grows as her husband steps in.

"Maxi! I've got your appointment with Mrs. Cattily all ready. Let's go!"

"I don't need to go. Look!" Her fingers are a fumbled mess as she tries to get to where her pictures are saved. She pulls up the picture and shows it to Mr. Fleur triumphantly… only to discover her finger was in the way.

"Bloody mad, the lot of you." Donna says when Gwen gets back, but she's laughing harder than anyone.

"Course they are if they said yes to coming with me!" The Doctor does his best manic grin. Gwen giggles.

"Let's see… who's next? Ahh, Donna, why don't you be a doll and do it?"

She sits up quickly, "No. Uh-huh. No way in hell."

"Can I do it with her?" Jack asks happily.

The Doctor thinks for a minute, "Oh, why not. Ianto, go with them wouldja?" He hastily pushes them to the door.

"Uh, Doctor?" Ianto inquires, "You haven't given us the dare yet."

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**Right... so I found out quite a lot of Twilight fans read this story. What are your opinions on Breaking Dawn? It wasn't my favorite, personally. I think I've read better fanfic. But it did inspire me. I'm going to rewrite the few chapters of 'Incandescent' that I have and post those when I've finished the story, so expect that in a couple of weeks if you're intrested... haha, shamless advertising. **


	21. Seventeenth On the List

December 20th, 2010

Dear Diary,

The _strangest _thing happened today. In the office, I was hurrying up my work so I could come home in time to watch Kyle to get voted off of Big Brother by Diana, but there was a slight inconvenience in the elevator. And when I mean slight, I really don't. I mean huge. Massive. Giant.

"Stefan!" Milo called right as I was about to get on, "Don't forget to do Marla's report for tomorrow!" Psh, like I didn't remember! I think that man is on anti-depressants or something… I dunno. But he's weird.

Where was I… right. So there I was, getting on the elevator in my new, crisply ironed suit jacket and blue tie. Very stylish indeed, might I add. I got on smoothly, but then isn't everything I do smooth? The answer is yes, diary.

There was a man in there wearing a suit, but in no way could it rival mine. It looked like he was stuck in 2005. Umm, ever heard of cuff links, Strange Suit Man? I don't think so.

There was another man in a blue button down shirt with _red suspenders. _What the hell was a hillbilly doing in my office?

And then there was the woman. She was pretty, around my age, and I don't know what the standard dress for women is, but I could've sworn my second girlfriend's dog had that sweater. To sleep on.

So anyway, I was just standing there, and I could tell that woman was totally checking me out. Strange Suit Man shuffled closer to me, and I didn't know if he thought I was sexy or what.

And then Hillbilly and Sweater Woman started arguing. You know what, diary? They didn't even speak English!  
"Heoosh! Myalishea!" Hillbilly shouted. He had a map and was pointing at it hurriedly.

"Ecks heoosh! Pyrkas stalishea!" Sweater Woman shouted back, moving her hand around the map.

Now I already had a pounding headache from Milo and his fake-happiness, so by now I was pretty pissed. And just to add more too it, I felt a poke in my cheek.

Strange Suit Man was standing closer to me; his index finger raised and he was giggling insanely.

"Ghyeslia! Eckeeeeeela!" Hillbilly shouted.

Strange Suit Man poked me and giggled again.

"KEYLARFOR!" Sweater Woman screamed, grabbing the map away.

"REYLIASH!"

More giggling.

"OI! HEORSHIS!"

Another poke on my temple. More giggling.

The elevator dinged, and I couldn't've been more relieved.

"Damn." Hillbilly said calmly, "This isn't Russia."

Strange Suit Man, Hillbilly and Sweater Woman walked out calmly; Strange Suit Man turned around and gave me a giddy wave goodbye.

I don't know, diary. Should I ask Milo if he had any anti-depressants to spare?

Love,

Stefan

"Eckela, I like that one." Tosh giggles, falling slightly into Owen's shoulder. The Doctor grins as he notices Owen doesn't seem to mind.

"No, you have to say it like this, 'Eckeeeeeela'!" Donna laughs, getting more into it.

"Eckeeeeeela." Gwen tries, but can't quite roll her tongue.

"Right, who's next? Tosh? Owen? Me?" The Doctor asks, delighted. "How to decide, how to decide… straws kind of backfired… oh! I know!" He closes his eyes, points out his finger and spins around in a circle. When he stops, his finger is pointed at Rose. He grins at her somewhat frightened expression and wraps his arm around her shoulders.

"You, my friend, are lucky." And then he leans in and gives her the task.

**A/N: Yes, I know. I'm irresponsible, unorganized, and have no regard whatsoever to dealines. That's what my English teacher said, and I think she's pshycic or something. And she's not even one of those cool pshycics, either. She's an evil one. Anyway, this is just a short little chapterlet, but I'm focusing mostly 'Incandescent' right now. Oh yeah, ten points to anyone who can tell me where 'Farsi' is spoken. **

**Diclaimer: Don't own. **


	22. Eighteenth On the List

**A/N: HA! You thought I was dead, didn't you? Oh ye of little faith. No, I might as well had been dead. Two months of my life spent planning and writing my NaNoWriMo, and after spending an hour each night staring at an empty computer screen, I only realized my plot was utter crap halfway through November. So I branched out, started writing with no plot in mind, and to this day I have 12,452 words. Hm. Did anyone else participate in NaNoWriMo? And did you know we could have written Fanfic? I could've saved that much sleep! **

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Marissa Marlyn was a New Yorker in every sense of the word. She had Pilates-toned, fake-tanned limbs even in the winter and a size-0 waist. Her hair was bleached blonde and ridden with hair extensions, and her wardrobe consisted of Micheal Kors, Parada, and the occasional Armani. Overall, a single day's appearance coasted more than half the houses lining the coast of Albany. And God, was Marissa proud of that.

Sometimes her husband would inquire how she could be proud of living up the stereotype, but Marissa would just a laugh a bell-ish, silvery little laugh and respond, "What stereotype?"

Marissa Marlyn did not like to read. She did not like rumors if they were about her. She did not like people who dared to bother her or question the tight grip of authority she held. Often her nights consisted of partying and staying up longer than she worked, so add easily-irritated and snappy to the already building list of Marissa Marlyn.

Are you asking yourself if you read that part about working correctly? Yes, you did indeed. Marissa Marlyn got up every morning at five AM after about three hours of sleep to do her Pilates and make herself easy to envy. Where did she work? Marissa was in a partnership realtor business with her husband. Partnership because Mark Marlyn did most of the work and Marissa handled the talking. It worked perfectly in their ivory towered minds, you see.

It was when that particular event happened when Marissa was negotiating (or close to) with a business owner at one of the most respected buildings in all of New York.

Of course her driver had been late that morning, and after giving him an ear-full of yelling and profanities, Marissa climbed in the back. The driver offered to speed up and at least make an attempt to get there on time, but instead Marissa ordered him to go slower than usual. Beauty was never rushed, she remembered. Marissa treated that quote like it was the meaning of life, and for her, perhaps it was. The driver shook his head but did as he was told.

In about twenty minutes, they arrived at the building. "Finally." The driver had murmured. He didn't actually like the Marlyns, but the pay was good, and he had a family to feed. It was just a matter of not talking and finding one's happy place when they got in.

Marissa didn't say a word as the driver got out and opened the red door for her. She was well aware of the jealous glares she received once her foot laid on the concrete, and she basked in them.

The inside of the building could only be described with one word: mauve. Almost everything there was covered with that color. Marissa thought they could really use an interior designer. Pushing away these thoughts, she pushed the up button on the elevator and waited. Beauty waits for no one... except elevators. She groaned and pressed her head against the wall in frustration. Did I mention she was impatient, as well? A night of alcohol could do that to the best of them. But then if they were the best, they wouldn't be out drinking the night away. Marissa made sure never to think that phrase: she was the best.

With a "DING!" the elevator finally arrived and opened up. Marissa muttered a word that sounded awfully like "duck" and got in.

There was already a blonde woman in there when she stepped in, and just one look at her told Marissa she wouldn't have to wait long to feel the envious gaze of the massacred eyes. The woman had bleached blonde hair as well, but it wasn't professional like Marissa's. Her roots were showing, for God's sake! And her clothes... they could not be from New York. What store would have the nerve to sell something so... chav? Marissa smiled wickedly and looked forward, waiting. But the burning heat of a glare never came. Her smile evaporated as slowly as a snowflake thrown into a chimney of flames.

Instead, the chav-ish woman stepped in front of the entrance of the elevator with an emotionless expression. Could you even call that an expression? It was terribly plain, and not at all expressive in any sense of the definition. Marissa's perfectly waxed brows creased.

"DING!" The elevator had arrived at Marissa's destination. This was already going to be a bad day; she could tell from the failed attempt at making others feel insecure.

"Excuse me," She muttered to the woman. Her back still stayed in front of the elevator's entrance.

"I said excuse me," Marissa said more loudly and ten times more rudely. The woman still stayed as motionless as a statue.

"Move!"

Nothing.

"Urgh!" Marissa tapped the woman's shoulder. First softly, but they gradually grew harder until Marissa hit the woman full on. She didn't even flinch.

"God! Are you stupid?" Marissa asked like she actually expected a response.

"Well you be letting me in, then?" A man peeked around the woman and asked. Marissa stared at him.

"Why the hell are you asking me? I can't even get out!" She motioned to the aggravating blonde, or at this moment in her life, the source of all evil.

The man frowned and tapped the woman's shoulder as well. "Excuse me, Miss?" It was soft and gentle and his smile was one that would make any nineteen year-old girl melt. But this one, this odd, strange, evil one, still stayed facing forward. For a moment, Marissa thought she saw the corners of her mouth twitch up in a miniscule little smile, and the did it.

"LET ME OUT!" She rammed into the woman, but the she was strong, and she stayed where she was.

"Now, now. Violence is never the answer." The man clucked and grabbed the girl's hand. "Miss, I would greatly appreciate it if you would let me through."

Her head turned—it actually turned!—and she smiled at him. "Okay." With that she shrugged and walked over to the staircase.

The man shot Marissa a triumphant smile. "Let's just face it. No matter how much you want to be one, you will never understand teenage girls."

On her way out, Marissa hit the man.

Back down in the parking garage, in a big blue box and amongst the galls of laugther filling the air, the Doctor checked over Rose fretfully.

"She didn't hit you too hard?" He asked as his hand traced over her arm, looking for bruises.

"Doctor," Rose responded with a disbelieving smile, "I don't think those could even be considered hits. Ouch!"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and his hand traced back its path to receive another squeal from his friend.

"That's not fair," She objected, "I had that before!"

"From what? Being bored?"

"No, from the designated driver's driving."

"I'll make sure to have a word with him, then. Never liked him. Although he had a fantastic sense of fashion, and well, let's be honest, he's probably the most handsome, dashing..est man I have ever seen. Wouldn't you agree, Rose?"

Rose smiled, "The dashingest."

That little moment of smiles and just sheer joy of being there lasted until an argument of sorts started between Tosh and Owen (though they were both grinning like Cheshire cats) was resolved with Owen saying, rather loudly,

"Doctor, I think it's Tosh's turn, don't you?"

"Right!" The Doctor turned to face poor Toshiko, "Don't look so frightened, it's not that bad!"

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**I really do feel guilty about leaving you hanging... you can yell at me in a review? :D**


	23. Nineteenth On the List

**A/N: So here it is. Sorry for the delay! If you haven't noticed, I don't exactly have all these written, no matter how much I wish I could say I did. Anyway, I have a story. In my L.A. class we just finished The Christmas Carol, so we started watching one of the various movie versions today. And guess who I see? Cassandra, about twenty years younger. I tried to see her as Scrooge's long lost love, but I kept hearing "Moisturize me..." **

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In not so many words, Harry Higgens could most definitely be considered a hippy and a tree hugger. He kept no electronics in his home, ate no meant, and walked everywhere he went. He had organized at least five sit-ins to end the war, and had held countless protests against animal abuse and testing. Harry had even stayed home from his job to make a statement about fossil fuels and what global warming is doing to our planet. Yes, Harry was a hippy, a tree hugger, and a quarter bit insane.

However, he was happy, and though his boss was defiantly leaning more towards firing him than keeping him, he had food on his plate and a wife he loved. Unfortunately, Mrs. Higgens didn't exactly share his views about how the human race was a race full of sadists and murderers. She, in not so many words, was what she called 'normal'. (Or selfish and careless, Harry thought)

So, in conclusion: although they got in constant arguments and rarely slept in the same room, Mr. and Mrs. Higgens were very much in love.

The fifteenth of December, 210, happened to be their anniversary, and rather regrettably, Mr. Higgens only found out about it that afternoon when the boss, looking a little too merry, inquired that Harry would indeed wish his wife a happy anniversary. Harry looked panicked—

"What? Why would I do that, sir?"

"Why, it is your anniversary, if I'm not mistaken."

"No," Harry responded assertively. Harry didn't like to be wrong, and was very passionate about his answers, as had been shown up above, and almost frighteningly so. "You must be mistaken, sir, because my anniversary is on December fifteenth."

His boss lifted his eyebrows and laughed a haughty laugh. The poor lad was doomed!

And here is where our story's next chapter really begins, with Harry rushing to the elevator door to pick up a bouquet of roses to take home to his wife. Right as he reached it, the elevator door closed.

"Oh, damn it!" He cursed and pushed the 'UP' button, waiting. In too much time, the elevator finally appeared. "This infernal electricity — that's it. If it weren't for this they would fix the stairs and unblock them!" Harry mumbled to himself, rather ungracefully, while walking into the tight little square.

Inside was a girl: short, smiling, and pretty with delicate features. Now, Harry was a respectable man, and if his answers were right and the planet wasn't being destroyed, quite agreeable and considerate, especially to girls, and especially to those of the former who happened to be attractive.

"Cold day," He started, pushing the down button.

"Not cold enough," The woman said, a hint of worry coloring her voice. Her hand came up to her mouth and she pulled out a strip of green — gum — and just left it hanging.

"I know what you mean," Harry agreed, finding her actions a little odd but not saying a word for fear of offending someone who might just understand him, "Global Warming, and all."

"I'm not doing enough," She replied, pulling out another strip of gum. Harry blinked, but than grinned.

"What do you mean, you're not doing enough? It sounds to me like you're active in preserving our world, but if you're interested, we're hosting a sit-in on Saturday..."

"NO!" She turned to look at him quickly, panicked. A third strip of gum dangled from her mouth, "I'M SORRY!" And she fell to the floor, sobbing, "I need to do more! I'm a lazy old thing, I am!" The woman started pulling out gum strips now as if her life depended on it.

"Here now," Harry began, more than a little astounded at the woman's actions, "You're not lazy, and you're certainly not old. Now, if you're serious about wanting to help, we could set up a charity or something, if you want."

"I need to give more!" The woman sat up suddenly and looked him straight into the eye, "Do you know what I should give?"

"Well, you don't need to give, you can just not—"

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SHOULD GIVE?" She demanded loudly, interrupting him.

"Ah, food, perhaps?" Harry offered, eyes wide.

"No!" She began sobbing again, "You don't get it!"

"I do get it! You want to help our world!"

"No!" She stopped abruptly, "I want to give gum."

"Gum?" Harry frowned. How could the world benefit from gum? She pulled out some more gum strips.

"Yes, gum." Her eyes suddenly lit up like she had a grand idea, "I'll make it easy for the poor and sell used gum!"

"What?"

She rolled her eyes, "You know, like used cars."

Harry was speechless, so he just gaped at her. The woman smiled, standing up.

"You can be my first costumer." And she grabbed the gum from her mouth and stuck it into his open one, which opened wider with surprise before spitting the thing out, just missing her outstretched hand. "That'd be ten dollars, sir."

"What?" Harry asked, dumbfounded, "I never said I wanted your damned used gum!" He shouldn't use offensive lanugue to a lady, he knew, but this one was pushing it.

"Ten dollars, sir."

"I don't even ten dollars one me!"

"Don't make me get the police, sir."

"But-"

"POLICE!" She shouted, just as the doors opened. Everyone's head turned, and Harry was able to imagine more than one reason for a girl to cry police when stepping out of an elevator alone with a man. An officer, a little plump on the stomach with a bald hair, walked up to then, his hands on his hips.

"There a problem?"

"Yes," The woman answered just as he said, "No."

Why don't you step out of the elevator," The officer instructed, pulling them both out as the doors almost shut. "Now, tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing!" Harry said at once, that passion coming into his voice.

"I believe I asked her," He replied, raising an eyebrow and turning back to the woman. "Now, tell me what happened, sweetheart."

"He stole from me," She sniffled.

"Stole what?"

"Gum."

"Gum?" The officer frowned, "Is this a joke?" He turned to Harry, whom nodded right away.

"Yes, I think it was."

They both turned to confront the woman, but she was gone.

"Well," Harry sighed, "My wife's not going to be happy without her roses."

"You could always give her gum." The officer replied, walking away.

"He was pretty," Jack grinned at her once Tosh stepped into the TARDIS, "You didn't happen to get his number, did you?" The comment earned a dirty look from both Martha and Donna, but went unnoticed amongst the rest, whom were busy laughing and quoting.

"Yes, Jack," Tosh said sarcastically, though smiling, "The first thing I said: 'My boss would think you're sexy. Can I have your number?'"

"Worth a shot," Jack shrugged. Owen rolled his eyes and Ianto cracked a grin.

"Alright-y," The Doctor grinned, "I think it's Martha's—"

"Oh, no, Doctor," Gwen interrupted, "It's yours."

"It is?" He asked hopefully, turning to Martha. She nodded hastily—

"Yeah, your turn."

"You don't mind?"

"Not at all."

"Right. You'll go next," He winked at her before strutting out of the TARDIS, and among the giggles was now a groan.

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**Not the best chapter, but it's an update :D**

**Review? **


	24. Twentieth On the List

**A/N: ...hi? I UPDATED! 8D I've found out what it feels like to fall in love with a fic and have it not updated. I'm not sure anyone is _in love_ with this fic, but oh well. Oh, and in the time I've been absent, I got a LJ! [And new braces...] My username is Sorreleh, if anyone here has one. Add me and we can be friends ;) **

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"What's that?" Pudgy fingers point up towards a sign reading _BATHROOM LEFT_.

"That's the bathroom, sweetie." A tired, overworked voice answers. Lee An Na glanced up at her mother in wonder,

"People go to the bathroom there?"

"No, that tells us _where_ the bathroom is," Lee Young Ju answered hurriedly, not even bothering to look down at her toddler. An Na pursed her lips in dissatisfaction. That wasn't very fun. An Na did not like signs; they were boring and flat. She did like her big, red ball, however. It bounced and was fun to throw against the wall. And as an added bonus, An Na just adored the _boing! _the ball made when it hit something. It was soft and amusing, unlike the ugly, hard sound a sign made when it hit the ground. No, signs were not good.

An Na let her eyes wander the cubicle, seeking out something that screamed, _Look, An Na, look at me! I'm fun! Come play with _me_ and forget that horrid sign! _Unfortunately, everything in the box was mute or shy. Nothing called her. A sigh escaped her lips and she sunk to the floor, legs and arms crossing simultaneously.

"Uhmma, when are we leaving?"

"Aigoo, An Na! I taught you more patience then this, surely?" Her mother finally looked from the square sliver of a computer monitor to send her a scolding look. An Na sat up straight immediately. Once she turned around again, An Na slumped down on the wall again and stared at her socks.

She decided she did not like her socks. They were, in An Na's opinion, the most ugly socks created. The color was the furthest thing from the blue of the sky; a revolting magenta dyed the fabric instead. At the bottom of each sock was a series of little painted white dots. Grips. It's not like An Na needed them in here with that gray carpet, but when she had pointed it out to Young Ju, all she had received was another scolding. An Na's gaze darted up from the repulsive articles of cloth hugging her feet to her Uhmma's face, still gazing at the screen. Slowly, An Na reached down and slipped off each sock. Grinning at the feeling of danger gathering in her stomach, she dropped them silently in the trashcan. There.

"_AN NA!_"

Uh oh. An Na anxiously met Young Ju's gaze, but could only hold it for a moment. Her mother's eyes were furious, her lips quivering in anger. Only one thing amounted from that expression, and An Na really didn't want that spanking. So she ran.

Swiftly, she weaved her way through the many cubicles, receiving more than one surprised calls and exclamations. She waited until she was sure she was lost and stopped to catch her breath.

_'DING!'_

What was _that_? An Na turned around quickly to see the magic doors that her and Young Ju had entered this morning. They opened to reveal a man in a black suit, stumbling out too quickly to even notice the little toddler in a blue dress and no socks. An Na couldn't be bothered to waste more attention on him, however. No, it was the doors she was drawn to, and soon she found herself inside a square little room, doors closing behind her.

"'Ello!" An unfamiliar voice greeted her right away. An Na turned to see another man in a brown pinstriped suit with a manic smile painted on his face. He talked funny.

"Hello," She answered back, politely like Uhmma had taught her.

The man's smile grew bigger, more eccentric, "'Ello."

An Na was puzzled. He had already said that! She stared at him.

"I've got new socks on!"

The toddler looked down his feet to see long, red socks with yellow bananas appearing here and there.

"Your socks are ugly." She commented while her brow crinkled in disgust. The man's grin faded into a wounded look, breaking record speed, An Na was sure.

"What?"

An Na pointed to the offending articles, "Ugly."

"They are not!" His voice raised an octave in indignation, "They're lovely!"

"Nope."

"Yes!

"Nooo."

"I don't know what you're talking about, frankly. I happen to _love _these socks!"

An Na was suddenly hit with a new wave of appreciation for her socks. She could have been stuck with _those_. "Nope."

_DING!_ The magic doors opened again and the Sock Man gave one final sniff at taste in clothing before walking out, hands in pockets and head held high. An Na waited for the doors to close again.

"That poor girl!" Donna giggled as the Doctor walked through the TARDIS doors, "You probably scared the poor thing to death!"  
The Doctor raised an eyebrow, "She didn't look scared."

"Scarred might be a better word." Ianto put in airily.

Martha nodded in agreement, grinning, "I _told _you to wear different socks!"

"Oi! What's wrong with these socks?"

"Everything." Ianto muttered.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and turned away from the group to see a worried Gwen.

"Doctor," She started, "That little girl was alone."

"You're the police officer, aren't you?" He grinned happily. She kept staring, waiting for an answer. "Jack!" The Doctor tore away from her gaze and wandered over to Jack whom was bent over the screen, "Where was the girl's mother?"

"Just in a cubicle. She's waiting outside the elevator for her right now," He answered, turning to Gwen, "We've got this wired up to more than one camera, you know."

Gwen pursed her lips and walked over to him, letting herself get engaged in whatever conversation Jack was willing to entertain.

Ianto and Martha were discussing something, Owen was telling Toshiko a story of some sort, hand gestures and all, while Jack was with Gwen. Donna stood by the door, looking more than a little isolated. The Doctor decided she would be the lucky receiver of his discussion.

"Donna!" He said merrily as he strolled over to her. She glanced up at him and grinned,

"You're _mad_."

"'Course."

Donna shook her head and smiled before beginning nervously, "Um, I was thinking…"

"Oh, no. Never a good sign."

"Shut up. Well, I was wondering…"

"Wondering what?"

"I'm getting to it!"

"Well, get it out, then!"

"Can I come with you?"

The Doctor blinked at her, "What?"

Donna crossed her arms anxiously, "Next time you leave, can I come with you?"

He grinned, "I'd love that."

She sighed in relief, "Good. Now, we're going to need to stop back at my house, and I'll need a room, and don't think I'm going to sleep in this room if you are too!"

"Donna, Donna, Donna," The Timelord sighed, "One, we can stop back at your house next time we head to London. You can use the wardrobe clothes until then or borrow some of Martha's or Rose's. Two, you'll get your own room. And three, I don't sleep."

Donna gaped at him, "You don't sleep? What else don't you do?"

"Lot's of things. Speaking of sleeping, I think it's time we assign them for the night, don't you?" He dug through his pockets quickly and brandished a bronze key, slipping it in her palm, "Your TARDIS key. You're room's down that hallway, third to the left." In one fluid movement, the Doctor spun around to address the rest of the crowd. Behind him, Donna stared down at the key, a wide grin spreading across her lips as she dropped it in her pockets.

"Alright, rooms. Gwen, your room's down that," The Doctor made a gesture to a hallway, "hall, as is everyone else's. Third room to the right. Toshiko, yours is the fourth one on the right. Owen, fourth, left. Ianto, fifth, right. Right as rain?"

Torchwood gaped at him.  
"_What_?"

"Well, you're all obviously getting tired – I saw that yawn, Owen – and I figured, why would I take you home to sleep when you can just spend the night here?"

No objections.

"All right, then. Martha, Jack, show them the way to the bathrooms and kitchen, alright? And by the way, anyone seen Rose?"

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**Not that funny, but this chapter was originally supposed to be a big huge fluff piece, but it was getting too long. I cut this into two, and the rest WILL be posted tomorrow. I already have it written. 3**

**Review? **


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Don't own. **

**A/N: I have really no excuse, but I am really sorry I'm so lazy. My resolution this year was to not procrastinate, but see how that's working out? I'll start today. Anyway, thank you so much for all the kind reviews! I'm floored. You guys give me so much more than I deserve 8D**

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"All right, then. Martha, Jack, show them the way to the bathrooms and kitchen, okay? And by the way, anyone seen Rose?"

"Jackie called," Jack, who was following Martha and the rest down the hall, turned around and answered, "Said it was too loud in here and went to her room."

"I see," The Doctor muttered, frowning a bit at the mention of Rose's mom. He devoted his attention to the TARDIS controls as the room became truly vacated, excepting him, of course. The TARDIS gave a groan of effort as he pulled a lever to get them in the vortex and out of sight. "Getting old," The Time Lord murmured affectionately, stroking the column. She gave a shudder of indignation. He chuckled, "Don't worry, so am I."

As the TARDIS calmed down and the lights dimmed for the night, the Doctor decided it was time for tea. Even though he didn't sleep ¾ of the time, he would never go a night without tea with Rose. It had started back to when he had taken her to see the end of Earth; she was having troubles sleeping with all the unfamiliarity, so he had brought her something she knew to help her sleep: tea. The next night she had made it, and then he, and then she until it wasn't something they thought about anymore. It was up there with brushing teeth and taking showers; they couldn't just _not_ do it. And tonight was his night.

Briefly, he considered the notion that she was still on the phone when the tea was all made and he was standing outside her door, but he couldn't hear any voices, so he opened it without hesitation.

"Rose?" The Doctor asked quietly, just in case. There was no answer. He peered around the room carefully until he noticed a lump shaking underneath the pink duvet. "Rose?" He asked again, walking over softly.

A moment passed, and the lump shifted so Rose faced him, all smiles. "Hi, Doctor." Her voice was wispy and her make-up a little smudged in an obvious effort to hide the fact it had been running. She had been crying.

"Rose?" It wasn't asking for her presence anymore, it was asking why. Why was she upset, and what could he do so she wasn't? He set the cups down on her nightstand and sat down next to her, placing a hand on the shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Are you alright?" What a stupid thing to ask, the Doctor scolded himself mentally. If she had been okay, she wouldn't have been crying. But it had been said and couldn't be unsaid (never trying that again), so all he could do was wait for a response.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" Rose responded, sitting up now and wrapping her arms around her knees.

"You were crying."

"No I wasn't." The smile was gone.

"You're a terrible liar."

"No I'm not." And just like that it was back, curving the edges of her lips upwards and letting her tongue peek out. He smiled too, but pulled the cup of tea back when she tried to reach for it.

"Come on, give it here."

"Not until you tell me why you were crying."

Rose eyed him and the cup for a moment, weighing her options carefully. If she didn't tell him, she would be free to mourn by herself in peace and possibly keep some dignity, but if she told him, she would have comfort and possibly some understanding. And there was that _fantastic _tea…

"Alright," She sighed, looking down, "Mum's getting married."

The Doctor blinked in surprise, "Really? To whom?"

"Howard."  
"Oh, well you don't mind him." He said in confusion, trying to figure out the puzzle that is female emotions.

"I don't mind him _dating_ her."

The last puzzle fell in to piece. Oh. _Oh, Rose._ The Doctor wrapped his arms around her in comfort, unsure of what to say next.

"It's stupid," Rose murmured into his shoulder, "Everything you've been through… you handle everything so well, and here I am, crying about my mum getting married. Stupid."

"It is _not_ stupid," He assured her, still a bit dubious that she would compare his actions to her mum's. "Rose, you've every right to be upset. I've known enough people by now to know that a parent re-marrying is _never_ anything easy, for _anyone._"

"But the way you--"

"Don't you dare compare this situation to me. I've never had to go throw anything even remotely like this, and I never, ever will. How do you know I wouldn't react the same?"

"Because you're the Doctor."

-

"Hello!"  
"God, you scared me!"

"Sorry. Mind if I join you?"

"Yeah, sure." Donna silently cursed herself for sounding too eager, but Jack didn't seem to mind as he sat down in front of her. In fact, he seemed a little flattered, if anything.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed with the rest? And I don't mean it that way." He flashed her a dazzling grin. She chuckled and stirred her coffee some more, trying not to look up at him in case she started to stare.

"Nah. It was morning when the Doctor landed. And you? Shouldn't you be… asleep?"

Jack grinned, noticing her avoidance of the word 'bed'. "I don't sleep much anymore."

She raised an eyebrow, "Anymore?"

"It's complicated."

"We've got all the time in the world. Literally."

"You've been dying to say that, haven't you?"

"Oh, you've no idea. And I only just thought of it the day after the TARDIS left!" Donna smiled and looked up at him, immediately regretting it as a blush crept up and settled in her cheeks. It wasn't her fault; that man's smile is simply too pretty.

"_After _the TARDIS left?" Jack's intrigued. Donna sees a chance.

"I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours."

"Fair game, Miss Noble."

And so they do. While everyone else on the TARDIS (well, almost everyone else) is asleep, Jack and Donna talk late into the faux night, lasting only on stories and coffee and joy.

Hours passed, and Donna's eyelids began to droop. Silence settled in after they both recovered from a fit of giggles about something even they don't know. Something pulsed in the background. Donna frowned, recognizing the sound.

"Is that… S Club 7?"

Jack pursed his lips and listened intently for a moment, "I… think it is. 'Don't Stop Movin'."

They exchanged odd looks for a moment before getting up and following where the music came from. It led to Rose's door. Jack took no hesitation in opening it and stepping in, Donna following a little more cautiously.

The Doctor and Rose sat on her bed, giggling and eating ice cream (weird, Donna never saw them come in the kitchen) just as the song switched to 'S Club Party'.

"Hi," Rose beamed up at them, the Doctor mirroring her.

"What're you two doing up? Got a busy day tomorrow."

"Of getting the security called on us?" Jack scoffed and sat down on the bed next to them, taking the Doctor's ice cream.

"Well, can't do that if you're sleeping. Donna!" The Doctor patted the spot next to him. Donna grinned and took the spot.

"You broke in in the morning," Donna answered his previous question, "I'm not exactly tired, am I?"

"I didn't _break in_," The Doctor protested resentfully, "The TARDIS landed there herself!"

"But I'm not gonna yell at the TARDIS now, am I?"

"Sometimes she deserves it."  
The lights and music flickered along to the TARDIS' rumbles.

"Oi!" The Doctor called to the ceiling, "No need to ruin a good song!"

"Yeah," Jack turned to Rose, "I was going to ask about the music. S Club 7?"

"Don't look at me," said Rose, "S'not my CD."

Donna gaped at the Doctor, "I _knew _you were a 90's fan!"

He shrugged, "Great for cheering people up. Speaking of which…" In one swift movement the ice cream was out of Jack's hand and in his own.

"Hey!"

"Get your own." The Doctor smirked at him. Jack gave him a mock-dirty look.

"Alright, it's late. Everyone off to bed, even you Jack, and don't please, don't twist that."

* * *

**Yay! S Club 7! It was orginally going to be Spice Girls, but a conversation at Warrior's Wish [if you've ever read Warriors by Erin Hunter: warriorswish . net / forum2 [epic site :D]] made me all nostelgic. They used to be one od my favorite bands xD **


End file.
